Second Type Woman - The Sexuality of Transwomen

Note: Some names in this article have been changed to protect peoples identities.

Introduction

There has been amazingly little investigation by the medical profession into the sexual orientation of male-to-female transsexual women. This is very surprising given the psychological and social importance of "sex" and "sexuality", and the presumably deliberate incorporation of these into the term "transsexual".

The innate priority of most men is to seek a sexual relationship with a physically beautiful woman as she is likely to be fertile and childbearing. Whilst women may enjoy a short-term relationship with a physically attractive man (who admittedly can pass on good genes to her child), a strongly competing priority is seeking a long-term relationship with the wealthiest and most successful man that she can attract in order to ensure the highest possible standard of living (aka chance of survival) for herself and her children. From this difference in priorities, it's unsurprising that women are far more confident that they can get a date with an attractive man than men are with an attractive woman (38% vs 26% according to one study).

Alexa considers himself to be a homosexual man, but dresses androgynously and has taken female hormones off and on for many years. (Ukraine)

Thalita Zampirolli had GCS in 2008, age 18, and considers herself to be a hetrosexual woman. (Brazil)

It's unclear how the crude but very real differences in the sexual priorities of men and women are reflected and adapted for transsexual and transgender women. For example, whilst 'penis envy' has become a commonplace term, 'vagina envy' remains a rarely discussed topic.

Born a boy in 1977, Nadia Almada assumed that she was gay as she was attracted to men. However she transitioned age 19,and in 2004 had GCS. She is now a "normal straight woman". (Portugal / UK)

Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation is a very personal feeling, the outwardly proclaimed sexuality can often differ from true private sexual attraction. When I had my GCS, a fellow patient was a mature man who had left his wife and children because one night he realised that he was "a lesbian stuck in the life of a straight man" and needed to correct this. It is thus not surprising that surveys and studies differ widely in their results.

A heavily caveated baseline for this article is that about 85% of adult natal "XX" women consider themselves as being heterosexual, i.e. only sexually attracted to the opposite sex. This is close to the 89% of men who say they are heterosexual. However, whilst the percentage barely changes for men regardless of age, for women it increases steadily with age - from less than 80% for young women under 20, to over 90% for those aged 50+. Further, studies assessing sexual arousal using physical criteria such as pupil dilation and genital response have found that a majority of women (but not men) are bisexual in mind, if not in practice.

A review of the very limited studies (table below) of the sexual orientation of post-Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) transsexual women paint a confusing picture, with heterosexuals only very slightly outnumbered by other categories. The numbers do not align with claims that transgender women are often obsessively "female" in all aspects of their behaviour, and that many transgender women are really just homosexual men - a very high heterosexual percentage would thus be expected.

Joyce Meireles

Robyn (right) and wife Georgiana Browning

Study Name	Sample Size	Hetero- sexual	Lesbian	Bisexual or Nonsexual
Wiesbeck & Täschner, 1989 [Note 1]	10	7	1?	2?
Eicher, Schmitt & Bergner, 1991	40	26 (65%)	5 (12.5%)	8 (20%) + 1
Ross & Need, 1989	14	12	0	2
Lindemalm, Körlin & Uddenberg, 1986	13	9	1	3
Sörensen, 1981a	23	17	0	6
Pfäfflin & Junge, 1990	42 (13 kept SRS secret from partners)	28 (76%)	9 (24%)	5 (12%)
Wålinder & Thuwe, 1975	11	11	0	0
Schroder	17	9	3	5
SUB-TOTAL	170	119 (70%)	19 (11%)	32 (19%)
Lawrence, 2005 [Note 2]	232	79 (34%)	58 (25%)	95 (41%)
TOTAL	402	198 (49%)	77 (19%)	127 (32%)

Notes:
1: The allocation of "1 Lesbian" and "2 Bisexual" is done by myself in order to make the totals add up.
2. Numbers are calculated by myself and could be slightly out.

The sample size is generally small and the variance between studies is substantial, making it hard to develop a "rule of thumb". There is also a probability that the woman's true sexual preference may not be reflected in the option that she selected.

Overall, the best that can be concluded is that about half of post-SRS women classify themselves as heterosexual and choose male partners, but also a large number either prefer female partners or are amenable to them. As such, their sexuality profile seems to be very similar to genetically XX ciswomen.

Androphilic Transwomen

Kay Brown has published a series of interesting commentaries about the sexual orientation of male-to-female (MtF) transsexuals, drawing heavily on Dutch studies.

The chart below summarises the findings, the lines show the highest to lowest scores within one standard deviation (ie. they include 67% of participants, but exclude outlayers):

Passability

Key:

PhAS - Physical Appearance Scale (recoded). Higher scores represent a physical appearance that is less congruent with the desired or experienced gender, i.e the lower the score the more passable as a woman. Effectively 0 = Cinderella, 100 = Rambo. Above 50, masculine type physical features begin to predominate and it will become increasingly difficult to pass even briefly. A one standard deviation line for natal cis-women approximates the 25-35 range.

Androphlyic - sexually attracted to men

Non-androphlyic - not sexually attracted to men, i.e. gynephylic (attracted to women), bi-sexual or asexual.

n - Number of participants

early onset (EOT) - a MtF transwoman who first identified as a girl at an early age. The definition and exact age varies from study to study, but age 18 is typical cut-off point.

late onset (LOT) - a MtF transwoman who first identified as a woman after puberty. The definition and exact age varies from study to study, but a median age of around 35 is common.

It can get complicated, from the top: a pre-SRS woman with her legal husband; a post-SRS woman with her post-SRS FTM husband; post- and pre-SRS women; a woman with her now post-SRS husband and their baby.

A problem with the above chart is the wider than expected standard deviation range. The study was self-completed and it appears (as the authors acknowledge) that many “late transitioners” overestimate their passability as a woman and misreport their sexual orientation (assessed using the Erotic Response and Orientation Scale (EROS)) as being androphylic, either because of its social desirability or because they are pseudo-androphilia (i.e. pretend to be attracted to men, even to the extent of marrriage).

A random selection of 19 submissions were followed up and the accuracy of the participants self-report assessed during a face-to-face interview, including the use of a Sexual Orientation Questionnaire and the Kinsey sexuality scale. The most significant finding from the interviews was that probably 20-40% of the LOT participants had incorrectly claimed that their sexual orientation ‘changed’ from exclusively gynephilic to androphilic or bisexual after transition and medical treatment. When the researchers then examined the data, two important findings emerged:

The sexuality of early onset MTF transsexuals was equally split between androphylic and non-androphylic
The sexuality of late onset MTF transsexuals was predominantly non-androphylic, on a 3.5:1 ratio.

A final conclusion was that transwomen who can pass (regardless of age) are far more likely to be androphilic (i.e. attracted to men) than those who can't.

Age Matters
A major weakness in the available studies is the age of the participants. A very inexact analysis of the available evidence would suggest that age of transition has a strong correlation to sexual orientation of transwomen.

A large proportion of MTF transsexuals who have surgery while still under age 30 categorise themselves as a heterosexual woman. Some of these are undoubtedly the rather rare "genuine transsexual", who has from an early age considered themselves to be a female and sought hormones and surgery as soon as possible. Controversially - as discussed below - there also seems to be a substantial number of highly driven young homosexual men who decide to live as a woman.

Sexual orientations tend to be far more diverse among transition'ers over 30. But a clear trend as age increases is having lesbian relationships with a former female partner or other transsexual women.

Based upon the limited available evidence it can be suspected:

A) The younger a woman's age at SRS, the more likely an apparent heterosexual female orientation will be, the obvious corollary being that the greater the woman's age at SRS, the more likely a lesbian or bisexual orientation is.

In 2017, Candy magazine published a very sensual photo shoot of 24-year old transwoman and model/actress Hari Nef with 40-year old male model Andres Velencoso.

B) The more "passable" a woman is (which is partly linked to her age at the time of SRS), the more likely an apparent heterosexual orientation is.

The conclusion is that young and passable MTF women are very likely to be heterosexual, older transwomen who struggle to pass are likely to be lesbian, and there are many who fall into a broad bi-sexual middle ground. [I welcome additional evidence to help prove or disprove this statement.]

Heterosexual Transwomen
From consolidated sources it would seem that nearly half of the transwomen who were heterosexual men (i.e. were exclusively sexually attracted to women) before their SRS, become heterosexual androphylic women afterwards (i.e. primarily attracted to men). This is a possible corollary from the dominance of a heterosexual orientation in natal women - even if a woman is known to be a transsexual, a heterosexual inclination (i.e. a sexual preference for men) is still subconsciously expected by society and even the woman herself, and any other orientation presents problems.

Jennifer Hiloudaki with male friend

Transwoman Jacqui Gavin and her husband

Kathi Stringer and friend

Emma Packer (formally Martin) with wife Linda (right)

A large study by Dr. Lawrence found that just 9% of the 232 male-to-female participants were attracted to men before their SRS, this rose to a substantial 34% after SRS, but percentages are still very low compared with other (smaller) studies. However, there may be some problems with this study which may make it difficult to generalise from - for example the age or self-selecting nature of the participants./p>

Post-SRS heterosexual transwomen obviously fall in to two categories - (1) those already attracted to men before SRS; and (2) those that change their sexual preference from women to men.

For a homosexual man, successfully appearing as a woman gives access to an almost unlimited number of male sexual partners.

It's been controversially suggested that some transsexual post-SRS heterosexual women are really homosexual men driven to have sex change surgery by their sexual preferences. The theory is that as men, these individuals desire and want to have sex with other men - especially 'straight' heterosexual men - but they can only attract and enter into relationships with the later by becoming physically a women.

Most medical professionals are reluctant to accept this theory but there are some strong advocates. It certainly seems to be indirectly supported by the fact that many (two thirds in Brazil) shemale prostitutes revert to living as a man with a homosexual orientation when their looks fade. It is only a small step from that to assume that a few homosexuals instead decide to have SRS, perhaps after entering a serious relation with a heterosexual man. The theory is also perhaps supported by evidence from Iran where homosexuality is strictly banned on religious grounds, but sex change surgery is allowed and is subsidised by the state. After surgery, the transwoman can have her birth certificate and all other official documents re-issued as 'female', and legally marry a man. The high prevalence of transsexuality and SRS procedures in Iran - one surgeon suggested eight times greater than western countries - leads to the suspicion that many homosexuals (and lesbians) are claiming to be transsexual.

Regardless of how correct the "some [MTF] transsexuals are homosexuals" theory is, it certainly doesn't account for all the heterosexual transwomen, and other factors must be considered. One such factor may be hormones. The radical hormonal changes in the body of a transwoman, to approximately female norms after orchiectomy or SRS, may well give her a push towards a heterosexual orientation. This can happen sometimes to their own surprise - often blaming (perhaps correctly in part) the hormones they are taking. For example. a 27-year old MTF transsexual in love with her already post-SRS transwoman partner, admitted that "I'd now categorise myself as bisexual because since taking hormones I find men attractive too."

In the TV show First Dates, heterosexual Chris Morris spends a night with Jossy Yendall. It's revealed only to viewers that she's a post-SRS woman.

Non-transsexual observers seem to find that post-transition transsexual women are often more "female than [genetic] females" in their lifestyle and social beliefs, and a few (usually those that transition in middle age) do indeed seem to be almost a living stereotype of the feminine ideal. Some transwomen undoubtedly strongly feel that as a woman they should only want to have sexual relations with a man, and in this instance any residual sexual attraction to women rather than men becomes both unimportant and something to be suppressed. For example, a study of the sexuality of 345 women by researchers at Essex University in the UK found that 74% of the women who identified themselves as being heterosexual were actually strongly sexually aroused when shown videos of attractive women. Whilst no similar study has been undertaken with transsexual women, it is safe to say that heterosexual transwomen tend to be very adamant that they are only attracted to men.

Going further, for a few transsexual women (like for some genetic women), marriage and even motherhood via the adoption of children becomes their overriding goal, and perhaps an ultimate symbol and proof of their womanhood. Indeed, the Stepford Wives may still be alive and well - albeit as Transgender Wives.

Kelly van der Veer is a post-SRS transsexual woman who considers herself bisexual and has a girlfriend.

While most heterosexual transwomen are heterosexual for reasons of choice and preference, it seems likely that in some instances the adoption of a heterosexual orientation is closely related to the transsexual woman's success in passing and assimilating herself as a woman. Social conformance - even in the twenty-first century - encourages the successfully passing transwoman to enter in to "normal" sexual relationships with men as far as she is physically capable, while intimate relationships with other women risks "rocking the boat" and unwanted curiosity and gossip.

Entering into a committed relationship with a man undoubtedly tends to pull a transwoman away from any open acknowledgement of her transsexuality and male past, and encourages an apparently heterosexual orientation in public - whatever her secret inclinations might still be. As the table above shows, many heterosexual transsexual women hide their male past from partners and even their husband, feeling (unfortunately often correctly) that the relationship may not survive this becoming known to him. Even if the partner knows about and accepts the woman's transsexuality, their friends and his family might not be so open minded, and external pressures and prejudice could eventually destroy the relationship. When the marriage of an apparently successful transwoman with a man come under stress - as every marriage inevitably does at some point - a background awareness of the wife's former life as man often seems to be a decisive factor in the divorce.

A very sensual and sexy transwoman, but the reality for many transsexuals over 40 is depressing - intimate relations with "normal" heterosexual man are rare.

Greek model and transwoman Aikaterini Grammatikopoulou, captured in a moment of intimacy with her boyfriend.

The other side of the coin is that post-SRS heterosexual transwomen who are unable to pass well are often faced with great difficulty in attracting and having a relationship with men. One-night stands with 'normal' men often end in tears. Brief relationships with tranny chasers may occur, but these are usually seeking pre-SRS girls and thus often disappointed. Eventual sexual abstinence is common among those in their 30's and 40's; whilst those over age 50 may struggle to get any sexual interest from men at all. One post-SRS transwoman in her 40's - who desperately wants a relationship with a 'straight' man but can't pass, despairingly says "no man wants to have sex with a transsexual when they can have a real woman". [MTF women thinking about transition and surgery should bear this in mind]

Finally, it should be mentioned that some transwomen consider themselves as to be heterosexual, but in practice have little interest in the actual sex. For example, Samantha Kane (who had SRS at age 37) concluded after five boyfriends that sex as a woman was rather boring - indeed far less interesting than the preliminaries to a big night out such as a shopping trip. There's no doubt that quite a few genetic women would agree with her!

Amanda Lepore, possibly age 45.

More Female than Female
An emerging phenomenon is sexually active transwomen who don't hide their transsexuality, but who attract heterosexual men by being physically more "female" than most genetic females. They typically transition and successfully pass as a woman for several years, but increasingly extreme (and unnatural looking) feministion surgery leads to them to outed as a transwoman. High profile examples include Allanah Starr, Danielle Foxx, Kimberly James, Michelle Alexandra and Amanda Lepore.

Perhaps the most famous is Amanda, whose life story changes in every interview, e.g. here and here. One possible biography is that she was born in 1967 and started hormones and transitioned at age 16. She somehow legally married a man just one year later. Age 19 she had SRS - the first and apparently most painful of her many feminisation operations. Subsequent operations have included extensive facial feminisation, multiple breast augmentations, buttock implants and having her broken/removed to achieve a smaller waist. She left her husband in 1989 (age 22) to pursue a career in New York as a 'creature of the night', but to pay her bills she had to take jobs as mundane as a shop assistant. She was eventually discovered as model in 1999, admitting that she aims for an extreme movie star look that's more female than Jean Harlow, Marilyn Monroe or even Jessica Rabbit! Her short stature of just 5ft 2in helps to emphasise her female figure. She has since also tried to develop her career as a singer and actress.

Photos of Kelly Anne Star and Michelle Alexandra - shown after transitioning and some years later.

Kimberley Langley legally married her lesbian partner after having sex reassignment surgery.

Lesbian Transwomen
Anne Lawrence found in her survey that 54% of the participants had been predominantly attracted to women before having SRS, but only 25% still were afterwards. When a post-SRS transwoman enters into a lesbian relationship, the reason almost always falls in to one of three categories:

A continuing a sexual attraction to women. If strong this leads to lesbian relationships, if weak it may lead to an avoidance of any sexual activity at all
Continuation of a relationship with a former wife or female partner on a sexual or non-sexual basis
Sexual relationships with other transsexual women. [see below]

Elisabeth Remhaug remained sexually attracted to other women after her transition and GCS. She eventually married her long-term and pre-transition girlfriend.

A majority of MTF transwoman who transition in their late 30's onwards are married, and a surprisingly large proportion number of these relationships (perhaps 20%) actually survive the shock. However sexual relations thereafter can be very confusing, whilst a lesbian relationship after SRS is the obvious option, it may not satisfy either.

Conversely, a very small proportion of GRS/SRS operations are performed on men who have an intense desire to have "lesbian" intercourse with women. After doing whatever is necessary to obtain surgery, these men then often stop taking female hormones and live as a man or a very "butch" woman. Drew Deveaux (left) is probably the most famous example of this.

Worryingly, some lesbian women claim to have been pressurised in to having sex with a transgender women (some pre-GRS) with the threat that they would otherwise be named on social media as prejudiced and anti-trans.

Bisexual Transwomen
A relatively high percentage of transwomen seem to enter sexual relationships with both men and women. The reasons are varied, for example: one-night stands; curiosity; and social conformance (e.g. a public relationship with a man but secret lesbian relationships).

Marie-France as a teenager. The hair!

Transcouple Kristen (left) and Mary

Transcouple Revana (left) and Natasha

Marie-France - a French showgirl, actress and singer - is an interesting example for a sleuth. After her transition in 1962, age 16, she soon had serious boyfriends but also still enjoyed sex with girls. By the late 1960's she was working at the Alcazar nightclub in Paris as a drag queen and was apparently only sexually interested in men, but oddly didn't have GCS until 1985. In 2003 her autobiography Once upon a Time, Marie-France recounts her sexual relationships with dozens of French, British and American male celebrities - including the singer Prince whom she collaborated with in 1986. Despite all her admirers she has never married.

"Ivana" was born male and worked as a female prostitute after her SRS. After being outed she raised the moot point - "did my sexual partners need to know that [I was trans]?"

Whether To Be Open
A huge problem that faces all transwomen is whether to tell a potential sexual partner that they are transgender. Most start off doing so, but the brutal reality is that reactions are predominately negative - sometimes aggressively so.

Even if a heterosexual man seems to take the news well, the likelihood is that he never be seen again. As one very sexually active post-op transwomen put it: "Why would a normal man want to fuck me [if I told him I was transsexual] rather than a natural woman". The situation is rarely better if seeking a lesbian relationship.

"That's a great chat-up line, but I should tell you that I'm here to compete in the Miss Trans contest."

Bitter experience soon makes many transwomen reluctant to confess to someone they fancy that they are transgender, but this leads to new problems. For a pre-op transwoman, even a pleasant kiss and cuddle can soon become dangerous as his/her hands wonder, and they start to look for more. Post-op transwomen face less danger from a groping hand, but a majority still face the debate of whether to confess about their past before their partner's increasing suspicion leads to a confrontation, potentially violent. For the lucky minority that are totally passable, the road may still eventually lead to very difficult questions being posed by a besotted partner, e.g. a marriage proposal and discussions about having children.

Straighter than Ciswomen?
A study of the sexuality of 345 women by researchers at Essex University in the UK found that 74% of the women who identified themselves as being heterosexual were actually strongly sexually aroused when shown porn videos of attractive women.

Heterosexual transwomen tend to be very adamant that they are only attracted to men; it would be interesting to conduct a similar survey with them.

A transwoman presenting a very feminine appearance isn't always sexually a heterosexual woman.

Non-Sexual Transwomen
From non-scientifically obtained evidence, around 15% of all post-SRS women never have an intimate sexual relationship after their surgery. Non-sexuality can be caused by one or more of:

A genuine lack of sexual urges - by far the most common cause
Poor surgical results - for example lack of vaginal depth, poor appearance of the vulva, or intercourse is painful
Failure to attract desirable partners, for example due to age or an inability to pass convincingly
A conscious suppression of inconvenient or undesired sexual urges, e.g. due to having AIDS or fear of possible discovery during intercourse
Participation in a relationship in which the other partner doesn't want to engage in sexual relations or is themselves unable to.

To help fend off unwanted male attention, tricks such as wearing an engagement or wedding ring can be effective.

It is common for transgender women to quickly lose their libido after beginning to take female hormones. Most but not all will slowly recover some sexual urges (slight to very strong) as time passes and they have surgery. However some never regain any interest in sexual intercourse, and if they have intercourse it is primarily to keep their partner happy or being placed in a situation where it is unavoidable (including rape).

Transwoman Clair Farley and her FTM fiancée (now husband) Jim Howley

I once asked whether the term "lesbian" was an accurate description of a sexual relationship between two post-GCS transwomen. "Yes" is the correct answer.

Transcouples
It is quite common for a transsexual woman to enter into a relationship with another transsexual, usually another male-to-female MTF) woman but occasionally a female-to-male (FTM) man. When a MTF woman enters into a relationship with a FTM man, generally both partners are insistent that it is a conventional, heterosexual relationship.

An important benefit of a relationship with another transsexual is that the partners can share their experiences and provide mutual support and understanding - something which a relationship with a non-transsexual person cannot provide to the same extent. Also, transcouples do not need to face the risks and worries of going stealth to establish and maintain the relationship with their partner.

A significant proportion of transsexual women admit to being attracted to other transsexual women, indeed one small survey found that half of the respondents were strongly attracted to other transsexual women. Naturally this attraction often leads to relationships, both of a "one night stand" and of a more permanent nature. Sexually, these are technically lesbian relationships, but interestingly the partners are frequently not attracted to non-transsexual genetic women.

It can get complex!

Your ex-husband is recovering from GCS - what do you do? Play scrabble with her!

The story of Lee is an example of how complicated things can get. Apparently a happily married young man he suddenly left his wife to transition as a woman, Leah. She subsequently described herself as being a "heterosexual woman with male body parts [whose] fantasies revolved around being sexual with men". She then had GCS and extensive facial feminisition surgery. A few years later she married a man who had left his wife for her. A decade later her husband announced that he was also transgender! They divorced but nevertheless remained best friends and 40-year-old Leah accompanied her ex-husband - now called Anna - for her GCS.

Homosexual or Transsexual?

After her GCS, Vicky remained sexually attracted to women and has had with relationships with both cis and transwomen

Feminine 'gay' boys often face huge pressure to admit to being transgender than homosexual. The former condition has apparently become more acceptable than the later - reality television is probably a big driver in this regard. In Iran, the extraordinary situation has arisen that homosexuality is illegal, instead the state will pay for sex-reassignment surgery!

The homosexual or transsexual debate often tore the transgender community apart in the early 2000's, in particular the theories of Dr Ray Blanchard, Dr J. Michael Bailey and Dr Anne Lawrence caused extraordinary division. A few examples that shows the gulf between theory and real life:

Ivy Rosenauer, a year after her GCS

Ivy was very confused about his/her gender as a teenager. She began taking oestrogen hormones and transitioned age 24. After several dubious sexual encounters, she found a serious boyfriend who considered her to be "special", but wasn't sure about her "lack of breasts and a vagina". In rapid succession Ivy had breast augmentation, a trachea shave and finally - age 26 - sex-reassignment surgery. However, her boyfriend's initial delight with her neo-vagina quickly faded and he soon moved out of their apartment. Ivy then found that she was no longer "special" but was competing for men with other women, and many cis women were simply more attractive than her. She regrets her GCS but recognises that it's irrevocable, she is now undergoing facial hair electrolysis and seeking additional feminisation surgery that will hopefully let her live successfully as a woman for the rest of her live.

"Don't forget that I used to have a testosterone drenched mind as well. So stop comparing my boobs to hers! "

Claudia was age 18 when he began to occasionally dress for fun as a woman when going out to gay (UK slang for homosexual) night spots as he was often being mistaken for a girl anyway. A few years later he met Martin ("a cross between Jesus and George Best") and eventually moved in with him. Martin wouldn't admit that he was a homosexual man and Claudia felt pressurised in to becoming a woman in order to maintain the relationship. Claudia said: "Martin slept with [other] women the whole time I was with him, and would say, 'If you were a girl, this wouldn't be happening,' and of course I believed him." Claudia reluctantly began taking female hormones, transitioned full time, and eventually - age 28 - had GCS surgery. A year later Martin left Claudia. She now regrets having GCS but continues to live her life as woman as it is impossible for her to physically revert to being a homosexual man a functional penis.

Young Transsexuals

Emma Rose finds her perfect man!

Many young transsexuals enter an intimate relationship as a girl with a heterosexual man long before undergoing any surgery. Unlike older transsexuals, the sexual orientation of young transsexual women (meaning those who transition and start treatment before age 20) is rarely in doubt, they are usually as fervently interested in boys as any teenage girl!

The girls desire to normalise her body and have vaginal intercourse often becomes a key driver for her seeking surgery as soon as possible. Waiting to her 18th birthday before having sex-reassignment surgery - as is required by the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association Standard Of Care that most doctors and surgeons conform to - can be a bitter and sexually very frustrating test of endurance.

Some examples:

To please her boyfriend, Maxine began taking female hormones and had breast implants age 17.

Maxine: "At age 14 I experienced my 'first time' while on holiday ... [he was] six-foot-tall, wash board belly, unbelievably sexy. He chatted me up on the beach and we went to his hotel room. He slowly undressed me. It was beautiful. There was nothing I wanted more that night than to be a whole woman." A few years later Maxine had a relationship with Omar, a strongly heterosexual man: "He missed me not having a bosom ... deep down he believed that I was really another man. I wanted to be the perfect partner for Omar and dreamt of us having a family. I longed to be a woman." Maxine began taking oestrogen hormones and had breast augmentation age 17, but Omar still soon moved on. For the next three years Maxine agonised over her sexuality and gender, before finally having SRS.

Tamalah, says "I knew from as early as I can remember that I was a girl. I didn't consider myself gay, I considered myself a heterosexual female." After she transitioned age 18 she was constantly being asked out by men and managed to have a very active sex life even before her GCS - "I figured what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them".

Paris: "My last relationship was a seemingly never-ending rollercoaster of orgasms so it’s not that I don’t enjoy a bit of afternoon delight. Or evening or morning delight, for that matter. Far from it."

Isla transitioned age 21 and had SRS a few years later. She sought out and had sex (both pre- and post-GCS) with heterosexual married men as it made her feel "desirable and validated as a woman".

'A' had SRS at 17, she says: "I just love sex, since the operation I crave it all the time. I'm just a woman with needs!"

'T' who transitioned in her teens and had SRS at age 17 says: "I'm all woman and enjoyed being [with my partner] because he's all man. I'm more feminine than most women I know. The fact I was born a man is just an inconvenient technicality."

The Effects of Hormones...
It's a moot point as to what extent the taking of hormones - in particular oestrogen - has on the sexuality of transwomen. It's another instance of where proper and peer reviewed medical studies are needed.

However, we know from numerous studies of cis women that they are most strongly attracted to men at the most fertile part of their menstrual cycle (i.e. when they have the highest oestrogen levels), particularly those with strong masculine features (big muscles, square jaws, prominent brow...) which indicate high levels of the male sex hormone testosterone. Even women who strongly identify as lesbian have give-aways of being sexually simulated by men at this time.

Women's intuition, e.g. "is he married", is increasingly backed by science. For example, a woman can subconsciously smell if a man has recently been physically close to another woman.

Women who take contraceptive pills have permanently raised oestrogen levels and seem to disproportionately favour masculine looking men all the time. Although there is a counter-argument that this a self-selective finding as they wouldn't be taking the pill if they weren't in or considering an active sexual relationship with men.

Nevertheless, there is a suspicion that the high oestrogen levels of a transwoman taking female hormones will tug her towards sexual attraction towards a male partner. Like many things related to transwomen, this probably - but not certainly - age dependent. A high proportion of transwomen transitioning under age 30 seek boyfriends and husbands, whilst many over 40 consider themselves lesbian and even continue to live with their former wife.

Personal Experience

When young I never led an active sex life but my sexual attraction was always towards girls.

When I began taking oestrogen homomes (Premarin) just a few days after my 30th birthday, my sex drive and libido quickly dropped to zero and I had no sexual interest in either men or women. I began to go out as a woman, and one the scariest moments of my life was kissing a man for the first time after being cornered in a night club. It "slayed the dragon" as I never again had a problem with snogs with men.

I then unexpectedly had a relationship with a cis-girl. For a while I stopped taking estrogen hormones but my 'male' sex drive, libido and penis never recovered. We sadly agreed to depart ways as she was hetrosexual woman looking for a boyfriend and potential husband, not the half woman that I had become.

Over my six years pre-transition, I twice - after getting too drunk for my safety - made the huge mistake of leaving a nightclub with a man who had expectations that I could not meet. The first instance became just very embarrassing for both of us, the second - well it could have been far worse.

Greek model and transwoman Aikaterini Grammatikopoulou, captured in a moment of intimacy with her boyfriend.

Although my transition was very difficult (horrendous at times), I became increasingly passable as a woman. I then found a wonderful and devoted boyfriend. Although not quite the hunk I was sometimes fantasising about, he took me on holiday and for the first time I had consenting intimacy with a man.

But the real turning point was when after two years I took a temporary job as an Administrator at a college. A week into the job my colleague remarked at the number of male lecturers, staff and students who seemed to need consult me in-person about their problem, when an email or telephone call would have sufficed. She was right, I was being chatted up, albeit in a modest way. Now that I was aware of this it was sometimes hard not to respond and I started to gain libido as a woman.

Two years year later my boyfriend (with some prompting!) finally proposed marriage and I accepted. Unfortunately my CGS was delayed from before until after the wedding, but we were finally able to consummate the marriage as husband and wife a few months later.

In the British TV series Married At First Sight, Nathanial Valentino legally married Ella Morgan. However, after discovering that she was a transwoman he wasn't sexually attracted to her, the marriage wasn't consummated and he left the series. One of the other contestants, JJ Slater, then dumped his own new wife (Bianca) for Ella!

After my GCS it took several years for me to physically and mentally fully heal and adapt to my female body, which included having some revision surgery.

I've since concluded that the greatest difference between my sex life as a man and as a woman is that as a man, coitus almost certainly guaranteed an orgasm. As a woman, I find intercourse enjoyable but all too often I'm frustratingly left nearly but not quite at an orgasm. An orgasm now requires several things: extensive foreplay; I've become mentally excited; stimulation of my clitoris; and a deep penetration that I can feel. When it does happen it's very intense, very prolonged and ... just wonderful! But despite the best efforts of my husband, it's only an occassional climax jackpot for me, whilst he ejects every time.

For men it can be a very disappointing night when they chat up a group of young women, only to evenually get no where. It doesn't help if they are actually all pre-GCS transwomen.

Final Comments

In 2017 I participated in the development of a strategy for transgender youth (defined as under age 25) and observed a huge mix in sexual preferences. However, it seemed to me more than a coincidence that the most passable transgirls were primarily attracted to men, often referring in meetings to their boyfriend. On a couple of occasions I met the participants in a social context, the less passable transgirls continued to stick together for the night but the more passable transgirls eventually peeling off to flirt with and tease some guys. Given that most if not all of these girls had not yet had gender confirmation surgery, they brought back memories of my night clubbing days twenty years earlier - and some disapointed men.

In regard to adults transitioning from male to female, over the years I've observed two predominant groups - those that are determinedly heterosexual (i.e. interested only in men) and those that are lesbian (i.e. prefer women) but nevertheless occasionally have sex with a man to validate their womanhood (making them bisexual?). A transition age of around 30 is a rough dividing line between the two groups.