[Part 1]
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Preface However, the median age in Europe and the USA for full-time MTF transition has dropped dramatically from perhaps early-40s in 2000 to late-20's in 2020 (studies differ on exact ages, but the overall trend is clear) and further the affordabaility and quality of feminisation surgery has dramatically improved. As a result the overall percentage of transwomen able to pass is rapidly increasing, and maybe, just maybe, it will eventually reach a third or even half. |
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"I did feel like
I went through puberty at age 24. Learning to wear a bra, makeup,
date boys, all that - everything other girls learn at age 13. And
we're alone. Most of the time society hates us - people think
we're freaks or whatever - so you're doing all this alone. And it
can be really hard."
For the vast majority of MTF's, transitioning is in fact an enormous
challenge, and probably the most stressful time of their life. The
former professional cyclist Robert Millar - a married man with a son -
is an example of the real-world problems that transitioners face.
Friends became suspicious when the then 40-year old was seen with his
hair in pigtails
and a suggestion of breasts under his top. One said, "Every time
we meet him he seems to have a bigger chest, but he won't talk about
it". Two years later he - now she - moved away and changed
her name to Phillippa York, sadly leaving her friends, family and son behind.
The first approach helps
avoid the embarrassing situation of someone calling you by your new name but
you not reacting. A very possible scenario after a few glasses of
wine late at night in the first few weeks after transition! Also,
retaining the same initials can help in the re-use of old documents, and
it's credible to suggest that minor differences such as Tony vs Toni are
just a typo error.
A third option
is to adopt an unusual
or exotic
name that you like, e.g. Caoimhe, Eibhleann, Naimh, Orlaith,
... But the
challenge then is getting people to remember how to spell and pronounce it!
I
It
is then possible get a re-issued 'female' birth certificate, which in turn
allows changing your passport to "F", including as
flattering a photo as you can get away with! Armed with all these
documents is it's almost any other documents and
records can be changed.
When I married my partner
in a church in Ireland, this was nearly a decade before the
Marriage Act 2015 legalised what the press like to call "same-sex
marriage". Thankfully I was able to show the Priest my UK passport
stated that my Sex was Female. It would have delayed the marriage
but I could have eventually have produced an acceptable Birth Certificate.
But if he had insisted on seeing my Baptism Certificate - well it has the wrong
forenames on it and there was no way I could have got that changed.
If for some reason a
document cannot be re-issued, it is now relatively easy to obtain or
even produce for yourself a very authentic looking "corrected" version -
and this is a risk some transwomen choose to take. However, the
same march of technology also means that increasingly official records
and archives (including Births, Deaths and Marriages) are readily
available on both government computer systems and the internet, and even
the most convincing "original" document may be only a few keystrokes
away from suddenly becoming suspicious. Embedded digital
signatures are also now used to prevent the manipulation of documents
issued in an electronic format. If you don't pass convincingly as
a woman then the likelihood is that responsible staff/officials will
check out even the most authentic looking documents that state that you
are Female. If there has been misrepresentation or forgery, this
could lead to possible criminal charges. When passing as woman (pre- or post-transition), if the name,
signature, address and [if present] photo are all okay, then it may
be possible to laugh off as a silly mistake give-aways like
"Sex: Male" on documents or in records. But unfortunately
confidence and convincing passability is essential when things
get to this point.
In practice it's
become essential to build-up a financial background and credit history in the years
before you transition. By far the easiest way of
doing this is by selecting a female name, she will then become
your fictional 'female' partner until you transition. When choosing your female name, try to keep your initials and
surname the same - "Allison Beverley Smith" is a much better
name for an "Allan Brian Smith" to adopt than "Jane Helen
Monroe" would be. If you expect to eventually transition,
avoid whenever possible using the prefix "Mr" or full forenames
on documents, e.g. have "A B Smith" on your cheques rather than
"Mr Allan Smith". Avoid using a forename in your
signature, so the credit card of "A B Smith" can then be used by
either Allan or Allison. If you must provide a photo with
an application, use the most androgynous picture of yourself
that you can find, ideally as unfocused (difficult with modern
cameras!) as the issuer will let you get away with. It's now very hard in the EU and UK to open a new bank
account without good supporting documents such as a utility bill
and passport, which may not be available prior to your
transition. However banks will
commonly issue a second credit card for a female
partner at the same address - in this instance use your
female title (prefix) and prenom (first name), e.g. "Miss
Allison Smith", and submit an en-femme photo, making it a
very useful form of emergency ID. Note: It also used to be possible to move
an existing bank account to a joint account with a female partner based on a completed form with signatures, but this now
(2018) seems to be impossible.
Finally, change over a utility bill into your new fictional female
partner's name as soon as possible, this will become important
proof of identify and residence as you kill off your old male
identity and "go solo" with your new name after transition time. There are now so many transgender women in the USA
(an estimated 1.4 million in 2022, 27% of whom are under age 25) that the lingerie industry has begun
catering for them, e.g. sexy tight panties and extra large training bras.
Shown above, from the left, are offerings by Harmonica, Sophie Hines, PACT and AnaOno.
IMHO, if a year after
transitioning you are still constantly getting strange stares when
shopping, and your "friends" and even family obviously don't like going
out in public with you, a very hard re-assessment is appropriate before
proceeding further and undergoing irreversible actions such as surgery.
The often lambasted one-year real life test prior to SRS does have a
very serious purpose.
But the good news is that you can stack the odds in your favour. Just fifty years ago only a small percentage of adult men could in truth live and pass convincingly as a woman; nowadays a transitioning MTF transsexual woman can improve her percentages considerably. Some physical characteristics (height, hands, feet, ...) remain almost impossible to change, but the modern transsexual woman has an enormous battery of weapons that allow her to feminise many of her other characteristics. For example, good quality silicone breast forms and mastectomy bras are available for as little as £200 ($300) which bestow on a clothed transwoman breasts whose appearance and movement are indistinguishable from a natal woman.
Assuming that physically you are reasonably feminine in appearance, then passing then often becomes all about the small things - things that are second nature for someone brought up as girl but entirely strange for a man - and things that Hollywood often has a field day over when a man impersonates a woman in a comedy. For example, I physically have too many "male" characteristics for comfort - too tall, big feet, voice. But as an example of how small the margin between passing and not passing is - when my sister had rhinoplasty to reduce the size of her "family" nose I decided on impulse to join her for the same procedure. The change was minimal but afterwards I was astonished at how many people now assumed that I was a woman - and this was years before I transitioned.
My second puberty - the period from when I first took hormones in 1994 (age 29) until I started to live full time as a woman at the end of 2000 - became ever more difficult. Working as a "man" I knew that my appearance was increasingly odd. Examples of just some of the many problems I faced pre-transition when a man included:
When I went out as a woman, I also faced serious problems and risks
from:
Learn Quickly An adult (over 18) man trying to "pass" as a woman faces a constant and often high-risk challenge and obstacle course. It is one thing to dream about being a woman, to actually try to live as a woman is quite another. It's a real "chicken or the egg" situation - you can't successfully pass as a woman until you've lived as a woman, but you can't successfully live as a woman until you can pass as a woman! It's also very hard to go to work and be accepted there as a woman until "being a woman" - with all its many downsides as well as upsides - becomes at least second nature.
When I first transitioned full-time, every time I appeared in public or had to interact with someone, I felt that I was acting" a female role. However, when under pressure the human being is an amazingly quick learner. As the months passed my instincts and responses become automatically 'female' and panic moments ever rarer. Also, post transition, I found that it was much easier for people who had only met me as "Annie" to accept me as a woman, even if they knew that I was a transgender, than people who previously known me as a man. When I came out to my family it was obvious that while trying to be supportive they had problems adjusting, although the passage of time helped a lot and my mother was always generally supportive.
Surgery Sex reassignment surgery (SRS) or Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS) is sometimes, albeit surprisingly, a low priority. Reasons for this include:
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Last updated: 17 January 2021
 Formerly the "Birth of Venus"
(c) 2000-2024 Annie Richards |
For a male-to-female
transsexual (MTF) - transitioning is the period when you stop living
your every-day life as man and begin living it as a woman. It
sounds short and easy - what more can be said? Actually, alot of girls have a lot to say, for example,
But an upside was express entry to night clubs and often free drinks!
Part 2
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