Transwomen and Sex


Sexual Intercourse

This article focuses on the sex life of transsexual women who have had Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) - a separate article is really needed for pre-SRS women.  Whilst male to female transsexuals have widely differing sexual experiences, I believe that this comment from Nikkey - two years after she had SRS at age 25 - fairly represents the majority: "I enjoy sex like any normal girl".

After her SRS Nicole had a very active sex life as a woman.  But she was shocked when a close male relative wanted to have sexual intercourse with her.
By definition, male to female Gender/Sex Reassignment Surgery radically alters the primary and secondary sexual genitalia of the person who undergoes this.  Whatever their sexual inclination, most post-SRS transwomen have a great curiosity about having sexual intercourse (coitus) with a man as a woman.  A quote from a British transgender woman:

I had sex change surgery which, according to the letter I received from my doctors ... produced 'an excellent result'.  I was quite relieved to learn that, as I did not know for 2 months after the op whether or not I was a surgical success or failure.  Mind you, I secretly started having vaginal sex way before I was allowed to do it, so by the time I got the official licence to shag, I was far from being a virgin LOL!  

"Just make sure you tell them all to be gentle with you the first few times" said my surgeon.  Little did he know!   

I'm now fully recovered & have to tell you: vaginal sex is absolutely wonderful, I can completely lose myself in a guy's arms as it makes me feel like the ultimate REAL DOLL I have always wanted to be.

The above quotation certainly doesn't apply to all transsexual women, but most can relate to most of it. 


Being 'swept off my feet' by a man is the dream of many women, but for most transwomen allowing a relationship with a heterosexual man to develop into physical intimacy and sexual intercourse is immensely stressful and worrying.

A Rain Check

Confusingly, transwomen have radically different physical and mental experiences when they have intercourse after SRS.

For some post-SRS women, their first sexual experiences with a man can be wonderful and strongly influence their future sexuality.  For example, one transwoman in her late 20's said after her first night with a man, "I had discovered sex ... a new hobby ... more boys in to bed!". 

However, for others the experience can be a huge disappointment, one transwoman in her early 40's says of her first experience with a man:  "Just worried [beforehand] ... [then] I was bored ... [now] have to change the sheets". 

Another now married transwoman admits "I don't have the sex drive I had as a boy ... my husband wants sex all the time but I limit it to maybe every other night as it's so boring."

Jennifer transitioned at 21 and had SRS age 30.  Shown age 39.

Perhaps inevitably there seems to be a degree of correlation between sexual satisfaction and successful physical feminisation, including age of transition and high-quality surgery.  Good physical feminisation results in more relationships with attractive and 'sexy' partners, and hopefully more enjoyable physical sensations during everything from kissing, petting and nipple sucking, to clitoris stimulation and vaginal penetration.   

Individual priorities also vary dramatically, as the requests made of surgeons in relation to constructing or enhancing the female secondary sexual characteristics of transsexual women show.  By a large margin the first surgery sought by transsexual women is actually breast augmentation, not SRS.

Facial feminisation surgery is often the next priority.  Prior to about 1995 this really meant just a nose job (rhinoplasty), but progress since then has been extraordinary.  For many transwomen with deep pockets and willing to stand the pain, an attractive female face is often only a few large cheques away.

This painting by Ford Madox Brown is unusual as it depicts Romeo with a mature Juliette.  

Sex reassignment surgery is often the last item on the surgery list.  Whilst a small number of usually very young transwomen prioritise this before anything else, the sheer cost (both financially and in time) of the procedure results in it having to be deferred.  Instead a priority is given to hormone treatment and cheaper surgical procedures with visible returns such as  orchiectomy, breast augmentation, facial feminisation, tracheal shave and voice feminisation.

For older women there seems to be a divergence between stated intentions when first seeking surgery, and the reality when speaking to the surgeon just before having the procedure.  At "crunch time" they often a prioritise a natural looking vulva area and sensitive clitoris suited to masturbatation and lesbian relationships, over a deep vagina suited to coitus and penile penetration.  How much this last-minute openness actually affects the imminent surgical procedure is a moot point.



Chelsey and male friend

Lauren - probably a staged press photo

A social media picture posted by Deana O'Riordan, born Dean

"My sex-reassignment surgeon promised that I would be able to have multiple orgasms during sex, can we go again?"

Sexual Activity

Regardless of increasing gender diversity in the 21st century, there is no doubt that the vast majority of young (under 30) transwomen have a strongly female heterosexual orientation and libido - before and after surgery.  An intense desire to be f*cked as a woman by a man is commonplace, one young transgirl describes her SRS at 18 and early sexual experiences:

"I didn't need the operation to feel like a girl because I already felt like one. I had the operation so I could have sex like other women. ...  So I could have more [vaginal depth and] orgasms I paid [an] extra 1,000.  I was in hospital for three weeks and two weeks after I came out, I was ready for a test run. I went to a disco with the sole intention of picking up a man for sex.  I looked for one who was trendy and attractive. I didn't want a virgin or someone who'd be glad of anything he could get!  When I'd found the perfect guy, he took me home and wanted to light candles but I made him do it with all the lights on.  I had to make sure that it not only felt OK but looked OK.  I have a faint scar on my tummy and I've been told it would take a gynaecologist to tell the difference, but I had to find out.  Afterwards, he asked for my phone number but I gave him a false one because he was just an experiment.  I had a few more experiments after that and remember being complimented on my wonderful muscle control."

Many young girls make up for lost time after their surgery.  For example:

  • Caroline Cossey (who famously modelled as 'Tula') admits that after her SRS at age 21, she "went a little wild ...  I felt I needed to experiment and experience a number of relationships.  None of the men I slept with had any idea of my past". 

  • 'A' had SRS at age 17, she claims that over the next four years she had sex with "... at least 500 men.  I'm just a woman with needs and all these men have satisfied my sexual desires".

  • 'C' admits that "About three months after my surgery I went to a swingers’ party and had sex with ten different men."

  • 'M' had SRS at age 21.  She then had sexual relationships with over forty different men in less than a year before "settling down" with just three boyfriends - two of whom were married. 

  • Chelsey had SRS when age 22 and admits to being "man mad ... I cater for men!"

  • 'J' had SRS at age 25, three year later she said "I must have slept with about thousands of men [sic] ... I do it most nights"

  • When the boyfriend of 'T' learnt that she had had SRS at 19, his only comment was about her insatiable demand for sex. She admitted "I want sex [with men] all the time - you could say I'm a bit of a sex maniac."

  • 'A' had SRS in her early 20's.  Her hobbies are now"horses, sex and men".

  • Lauren Harries had SRS in 2001, age 21.  The media extensively reported her subsequent very active sex life, most notably with "B" list celebatory Russell Brand.

  • Deana had gender confirmation surgery age 21. She decided to play the field and enjoy her single life with one-night stands, saying "I'm just having fun like a normal girl would in her 20's".

These women are all passable and had SRS in by their twenties.  Unfortunately, many older post-SRS transsexual women who desperately desire and seek sex with men as a woman find that their mature age and poor passability means that such occurrences are rare - and associated depression and disillusionment is not unusual.  However there are a few exceptions:

  • Forty-something Anne spent the first anniversary of her SRS on holiday in Ibiza, "getting f**ked by as many young men as possible"

  • Anabelle transitioned age 24 but didn't have SRS until 41.  "I [then]wanted to give casual dating a go".  She started used dating apps with great success, but admits 'The more fun I have, the more I seem to be voluntarily asking myself "Is this okay?"

  • Crystal Warren (right) confessed on a British TV talk-show to having a sex addition and claimed to have slept with more than a thousand men - "I was sleeping with up to seven men a day and even now I can’t go more than 24 hours without sex".  The next day the Sun newspaper revealed that 42 year-old Crystal had been born Christopher, and had a sex-change operation age 35

Fabiola Nogueira (top) was a shemale porn star in Brazil.  She spent the money she made on feminisation surgery and eventually SRS.  She then disappeared for several years before being outed as Ella, a high class female escort working in Italy.

But there are also many transwomen who consider themselves as to be heterosexual, but in practice have little interest in actual sexual intercourse.  For example, Samantha Kane (who had SRS at age 37) concluded after five boyfriends that sex as a woman was rather boring - indeed far less interesting than the preliminaries to a big night out such as a shopping trip.

Also, things can take a devastating turn for the worse.  Angel, who had SRS age 17, discovered a year later that her apparently devoted 38-year old boyfriend was also sleeping with her still married mother.  When challenged, her mother brutaly said "once you became a woman you became a threat", and that men preferred "a real pussy".


The Lure of Money

The sexual image of transsexual women has been distorted by the prevalence of pre-SRS 'shemales' working as prostitutes, with a functional penis.  Many transgender women claim that the only way they could fund the high cost their sex-reassignment/gender confirmation surgery was by working as she-male prostitute.

This has become a huge world-wide industry, and very lucrative for the girls and minders involved.  Even excluding Asian and South American girls, empirical evidence indicates that a third to a half of all young pre-operative transsexuals have accepted money for sex.  Large numbers of transwomen are being embarrassed when unexpectedly faced with photos and other evidence taken from porn sites years earlier.

Whilst trying to ignore the controversy about Professor Bailey's idea's, it does seems that there are two categories of girls involved - those that never eventually have SRS, and those that do.  For the later, prostitution is often an unfortunate but quick way to save the money needed for surgery, e.g. Cristini Notta said "My penis paid for my vagina". 

"I appreciate you funding my SRS.  Now I'm a virgin again I've taken the vows and will become a nun"

Some lucky shemales (generally in their teens or early twenties) may find "sugar daddies" who are willing to support them financially, and even pay for medical treatment and surgery.  The latter is usually for breast augmentation, but may extend to SRS/GRS - which can be very difficult to refuse even if they have serious doubts. 

Sadly many shemale prostitutes who have radical 'bottom surgery' to their male genitalia soon regret this. The subsequent frequent use of sexual aids such as a strap-on penis raises serious questions as to why they had the surgery.


A 38-year-old post-GRS transwoman.  Slim, but obvious breast implants and a rather masculine face softened by makeup and possibly a wig.
Gender Euphoria

In recent years the concept of Gender Euphoria has been identified, this means being very satisfied that your physical sexual appearance and a lifestyle that matches your mental gender.  It is effectively the opposite of Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID) - where extreme dissatisfaction leads to transition and radical surgery.  An essential component of Gender Euphoria for a transwoman is usually the ability to successfully have sexual intercourse as a woman after MTF gender confirmation surgery.   

A few post-surgery transgender women experience sexual excitment and even orgasms just from seeing their feminised body, breasts and neo-vagina.


Getting Mental

Medical science still hasn't really explained what causes sexual arousal, but for women (including transsexual women) there seems to be a more substantial and important 'mental' element than men. 

During foreplay and love making, women are more likely to imagine that they are making love to an out-of-reach object of desire (film star, pop star, etc) than men.  Perhaps less comfortably, many girls also have private fantasies involving sadomasochism, sexual harassment, assault and rape, which they use as stimulation during masturbation.  According to Dr Alfred Kinsey, 2% of women can reach orgasm from fantasising alone!

Cara is a post-SRS transwoman who claims to reaches orgasm about 15 times a week with the help of her female sex toys.  No men required!

Erotic fantasies are a normal and healthy fact of life for women and transwomen, a few are even able to bring themselves to orgasm though imagination alone, without any physical stimulation - something very rare in men.  The use of female sex toys can supplement mental fantasies with physical stimulus that greatly increases the chances of reaching orgasm. 

For many heterosexual transwomen, the act of vaginal penetration by a man causes extreme mental excitement which quickly leads to an orgasm, i.e. very little actual physical stimulation is required. 

 On the other side, for a lesbian transwomen a mass orgy with the Chippendales studs is just a waste of lubricant, whilst just holding hands with a girlfriend in public is sexually exciting. Whilst hard to probe even with excellent surgery the clitoris and vagina have less sensitivity than the average cis-woman.


The Sexual Cycle in a post-SRS Transsexual Woman.

Excitement: As the woman becomes aroused, blood starts to accumulate in the pelvic area.   Vaginal lubrication begins - this will generally be closer to genetic female norms the longer since surgery.  (The presence of lubrication does not necessarily mean that a woman is ready for intercourse.  And it's certainly no indication of being close to an orgasm!  Penetration is much more pleasurable if other forms of stimulation are continued for a while longer.)   As sexual stimulation continues, the outer lips, inner lips, and sometimes the breasts begin to look swollen or enlarged.  The clitoris also enlarges - to an embarrassing degree in a few transwomen (this is very difficult for surgeons to get right).

Plateau: During this phase, the vaginal lips become even puffier.  The tissues of the walls of the neovagina swell with blood and the opening to the vagina narrows.  Breathing and pulse rate quicken.  A "sex flush" may appear on the stomach, breasts, shoulders, neck, or face.  The areolas of the nipples may swell, even on small breasts.  Many of the woman's muscles - thighs, hips, hands, and buttocks - may tighten.

Orgasm: The woman's breathing, pulse rate, and blood pressure continue to rise.  The mounting muscular tension and engorgement of blood vessels reaches a peak.  Orgasm occurs.  Sometimes the orgasm comes with a reflex grasping-type muscular response of the hands and feet.   Some women feel a warmth emanating from their genital area.  Since orgasm is most often triggered by clitoral stimulation or deep penile penetrations (dependent upon the individual and the surgical technique used for her SRS), the excitement usually stops if the stimulation stops.  An incomplete release can be very frustrating!   Consistent and continuous stimulation in the particular way each woman wants it is usually required to bring a woman to orgasm.

Resolution: This is when the genitals return to their normal resting state.  This phase can last from a few minutes to a half hour or longer.  Swelling recedes, any sex flush will disappear, and there is a general relaxation of muscular tension.  The clitoris returns to its usual size and position.  Some women experience soreness in their genitals for a while after orgasm.

Corey Rae had SRS age 18 and has an active sex life with male and female partners, whilst not shying away from the fact that she enjoys using "girl" sex toys


Sexual Desire and Enjoyment
As ever studies are rare, but the limited available evidence suggests that transsexual women generally resemble genetic females rather than males in their patterns of sexual activity and associated temperamental traits.  On average, when compared with genetic women, transsexual women: 

  • Have a similar degree and frequency of sexual desire

  • Are similarly easy to sexually excit.

  • Have their sexual desires and needs satisfied almost as much as other women, but less than men

  • Have significantly more erotic fantasies, dreams and daydreams

  • Are more likely to use vibrators and other sex toys for physical stimulation

  • Are as likely to adopt a female sexual position during intercourse.

    Thanks to lucky genetics, female hormones and excellent surgery - a few young transwomen are physically close to the female ideal and their sexual opportunities are almost unlimited. 

  • Are less likely to enjoy non-orgasmic sexual sensations during intercourse

  • Are less likely to experience orgasms than cis-women during intercourse.

The limitations of even the most aesthetically successful sex-reassignment surgery seems likely to account for the last two points. There is also no doubt that like other women, the libido and sexual enjoyment of transsexual women can vary from negligible to intense, whether or not they are classified as lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual. 

After surgery many (but certainly not all!) post-GRS transwomen have a relatively low libido, and often an unwanted bias towards their anus rather than vaginal areas for physical sexual stimulus and enjoyment.  Whilst most post-GRS transwomen claim in surveys to be delighted by their sexual experiences post-surgery, as the months pass a large percentage become increasingly bored with coitus as they go through the motions with a partner.  

Romy Haag and friendTo simulate libido and vaginal excitement, the best answer is determined daily masturbation (up to 30 minutes or orgasm) using aids such as pornography and vibrators.  If libido remains very low, taking small doses of testosterone can help - whilst considered to be a 'male' hormone, post-SRS transwomen often have lower blood levels of testosterone than genetic women. 



During coitus with a man, the average transwomen who began hormones after puberty suffers from the fact that her pelvis has a different structure from a genetic woman, in particular the pelvic inlet is smaller and has a different shape and slope, as a result the position of the her vulva and neo-vagina is sightly but noticeably different from cis-women.  This can prevent or make painful some common sexual positions, particularly if the man's penis has a large girth.  Also, unless the surgery has been of exceptional quality, she will have less clitoral stimulation than the average genetic woman, and the traditional 'missionary' position may give little physical stimulus. 

Many transwomen find that the girl on top approach, e.g. the 'cow girl' position, is most likely to lead to mutual enjoyment and an orgasm.  This allows her to find the optimum angle for vaginal penetration, facilitates stimulation of the clitoris area, enables fondling of her breasts, and still permits some enjoyable kissing.

Age and Sexual Activity
The mere mentioning of "age" opens a can of worms which many transsexual women prefer to ignore - but it's also difficult to ignore that fact that there's a complex relationship between age, sex, and libido.

For genetic women the reality is that their fertility peaks in their late teens when they have an 80+% chance of getting pregnant in any 12-month period if regularly having unprotected sex.  It's no coincidence that women are (putting all correctness aside) at their most beautiful and attractive to men when in their teens - and that their bodies are urging them to find an attractive mate for sex and trap a high calibre partner to look after them (i.e. not necessarily the same man).  Female fertility thereafter starts to decline, dramatically so from age 35.  Most women are infertile by their mid-40's.  Although are a few exceptions going in to the 50's, these are usually enabled by a lot of expensive medical treatment.

The fertility of men (based in sperm count) probably starts to decline even before women but the average man is actually older than the average women when they have their first acknowledged child.  Also, the fertility of 35+ men declines more slowly than women, and many men remain technically fertile in to their 50 and even 60's. 

The libido of women seems to decline slower than their fertility, but still faster than men - particularly if 45+ and in a long-term relationship where the availability of sexual opportunities doesn't make the heart grow fonder.  In recent years there has been a lot of media coverage about well-heeled 40-something single female's seeking 'toy boys', but a much larger number of mature men are 'sugar daddies' for far younger women.

Poor quality SRS can result in a partner being very disappointed, with potential deadly results.

As far as I can make out there has been no research that correlates the libido and sexual activity of genetic women with post-SRS transsexual women an age related basis.  In the UK the typical MTF transsexual has SRS surgery when age 35 to 45 - this creates considerable possibilities as regards both the level of their libido, and the nature and level sexual activity in the years before and after surgery. 

My own suspicion is that a young MTF transwomen has a below average level of sexual activity before SRS, but an above average one afterwards.  An extreme and disturbing example is a young transwoman who shocked me be revealing that as teenage boy he had never had sex with a girl, but he/she was repeatedly raped by her boss - the head chef at the hotel she worked at.  She had SRS age 20 and joined an airline as cabin crew, in two years she then had intercourse with 40 different men.



Despite the many claims and posts on social media by transwomen describing how wonderful their first experience of vaginal sex/coitus with a man was, the reality for most is that it's rather closer to a dentist appointment.  You know you need to do it, but are nervous and hoping it won't be too painful, and glad when it's all over.

 I think my own experience of sex is a typical of most adult transgender women after GCS.  It initially felt very strange, a bit worrying, and far from comfortable - certainly not a 'turn on' - to have an erect penis vigorously disrupting my still healing neo-vagina and internal nether parts.  As the months passed we both learnt what worked for us, and the sensation became more enjoyable.  Eventually - aided by mental fantasies - I finally had an orgasm some two years after surgery.  The problem then became that when I did get sexually excited I always wanted more - and my partner couldn't always manage it!

My pragmatic conclusion is that sexual intercourse post-GCS involves keeping your partner happy and satisfied, finding ways of getting stimulated yourself, and if lucky being rewarded by the occasional orgasm.  But above all else, try to avoid UTI's!


This transwoman had GCS with Dr. Ginger Slack.  The next day she posted on social media "going through hours of painful surgeries just so I can fool straight people into thinking I'm a REAL woman - Hahah!"
Strange Days Indeed

Two decades after I first wrote this article, the internet and social media features many young and attractive looking transwomen post-GCS who proudly proclaim after a date (and presumably sex) with a man that "he never knew that I was trans".  I find this type of boasting slightly disturbing.

Shemale prostitutes, most commonly from Asia and South America, have for decades competed for the number of clients they service as a "woman" before one discovers that they have a penis.  This has evolved in to some post-SRS women competing for how many male partners they can bed before one realises that she once had a penis. 

Many of these transwomen take hormones and have surgery to make money from male sugar daddies.  If they don't meet and marry a rich man and thus transition permanently, some revert to a male gender in their 30's, despite having radical and irreversible surgery such as vaginoplasty.

But even stranger are social media reports of men in their 20's transitioning and having vaginaplasty surgery simply so that they can experience having sex as a woman.  They intend after a few years to de-transition and have surgery to reconstruct their penis.

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Last updated: 17 January 2021

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