Sexual Intercourse
This
article focuses on the sex life of transsexual women who have
had Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) - a separate article is
really needed for pre-SRS women. Whilst male to female
transsexuals have widely differing sexual experiences, I believe
that this comment from Nikkey - two years after she had SRS at
age 25 - fairly represents the majority: "I enjoy sex like any
normal girl".

After her SRS Nicole had a
very active sex life as a woman. But she was
shocked when a close male relative tried to force her to
have sexual intercourse with him. |
By definition, male to female Gender/Sex Reassignment Surgery
radically alters the primary and secondary sexual genitalia of
the person who undergoes this. Whatever their
sexual inclination, most post-SRS
transwomen have a great curiosity about having sexual
intercourse (coitus) with a man as a woman. A quote from a
British transgender woman:
I had sex change surgery which,
according to the letter I received from my doctors ... produced
'an excellent result'. I was quite relieved to learn that,
as I did not know for 2 months after the op whether or not I was
a surgical success or failure. Mind you, I secretly
started having vaginal sex way before I was allowed to do it, so
by the time I got the official licence to shag, I was far from
being a virgin LOL!
"Just make sure you tell them all
to be gentle with you the first few times" said my surgeon.
Little did he know!
I'm now fully recovered & have to tell you: vaginal sex is
absolutely wonderful, I can completely lose myself in a guy's
arms as it makes me feel like the ultimate REAL DOLL I have
always wanted to be.
The above quotation certainly doesn't apply to all transsexual
women, but most can relate to most of it.

Being 'swept off my feet' by a man is the dream of many
women, but for most transwomen allowing a relationship with
a heterosexual man to develop in to physical intimacy and
sexual intercourse is immensely stressful and worrying. |
A Rain Check
For
some post-SRS women, their first sexual experiences with a man
can be wonderful and strongly influence their future sexuality.
For example, one transwoman in her late 20's said after her
first night with a man, "I had discovered sex ... a new hobby
... more boys in to bed!".
However, for others the experience can be a huge disappointment, one
transwoman in her early 40's says of her first experience with a
man: "Just worried [beforehand] ... I was bored ...
[now] have
to change the sheets".
Another now married tranwoman admits "I don't have the
sex drive I had as a boy ... my husband wants sex all the time
but I limit it to maybe every other night as it's so boring."

Jennifer
transitioned at 21 and had SRS age
30. Shown age 39. |
Perhaps inevitably there seems to be a degree of correlation
between sexual satisfaction and successful physical
feminisation, including age of transition and high quality
surgery. Good physical feminisation results in more
relationships with attractive and 'sexy' partners, and hopefully
more enjoyable physical sensations during everything from
kissing, petting and nipple sucking, to clitoris stimulation and
vaginal penetration.
Individual priorities also vary dramatically, as
the requests made of surgeons in relation to constructing or
enhancing the female secondary sexual characteristics of
transsexual women show. By a large margin the first
surgery sought by transsexual women is actually breast
augmentation, not SRS.
Facial feminisation surgery is often the next priority.
Prior to about 1995 this really meant just a nose job (rhinoplasty),
but progress since then has been extraordinary. For many
transwomen with deep pockets and willing to stand the pain, an
attractive female face is often only a few large cheques away.

This painting by Ford
Madox Brown is unusual as it depicts Romeo with a mature
Juliette.
In the UK the average
age for SRS performed by the NHS on a transwoman
decreased from 42 in 2000 to 36 in 2016.
|
Perhaps surprisingly, sex reassignment surgery is
often the last item on the surgery
wish list. Whilst a small number of generally young transwomen
prioritise this before anything else, the costly (both
financially and in time) surgical development and subsequent maintenance of a
vagina often becomes a lower priority than cheaper procedures
with
visible returns such as hormone treatment, orchiectomy, breast
augmentation, facial feminisation, tracheal shave and voice
feminisation.
For older women there seems to be a divergence between stated
intentions when first seeking surgery, and the reality when
speaking to the surgeon just before having the procedure.
At "crunch
time" they often a prioritise a natural looking vulva area
and
sensitive clitoris suited to masterbatation and lesbian
relationships, over a deep vagina suited to coitus and
penile penetration. How much this last minute openness
actually affects the imminent surgical procedure is a moot
point.
Sexual Activity
There can certainly be no doubt about the very female
heterosexual orientation and libido of many young (under 30)
transwomen - before and after surgery. An intense desire
to be f*cked as a woman by a man is common, one young transgirl
describes her SRS at 18 and early sexual experiences:

"My
sex-reassignment surgeon promised that I would be
able to have multiple orgasms during sex, can we
go again?"

Chelsey and male friend

Lauren - presumably in a staged photo
|
"I didn't
need the operation to feel like a girl because I already felt
like one. I had the operation so I could have sex like other
women. ... So I could have more [vaginal depth and]
orgasms I paid [an] extra £1,000. I was in hospital for
three weeks and two weeks after I came out, I was ready for a
test run. I went to a disco with the sole intention of picking
up a man for sex. I looked for one who was trendy and
attractive. I didn't want a virgin or someone who'd be glad of
anything he could get! When I'd found the perfect
guy, he took me home and wanted to light candles but I made him
do it with all the lights on. I had to make sure that it
not only felt OK but looked OK. I have a faint scar on my
tummy and I've been told it would take a gynaecologist to tell
the difference, but I had to find out. Afterwards, he
asked for my phone number but I gave him a false one because he
was just an experiment. I had a few more experiments after
that and remember being complimented on my wonderful muscle
control."
Many young girls undoubtedly make up for lost time after their
surgery. For example:
-
Caroline Cossey
(who famously modeled as 'Tula') admits that after her SRS at age 21, she
"went a little wild ... I felt I needed to experiment
and experience a number of relationships. None of the
men I slept with had any idea of my past".
-
'A'
had SRS at age 17, she claims that over the next four years
she had sex with "... at least 500 men. I'm just a
woman with needs and all these men have satisfied my sexual
desires".
-
'C'
admits that "About three months after my surgery I went to a
swingers’ party and had sex with ten different men."
-
'M'
had SRS at age 21. She then had sexual relationships
with over fourty different men in less than a year before
"settling down" with just three boyfriends - two of whom
were married.
-
Chelsey had SRS when age 22 and admits to being "man mad ...
I cater for men!"
-
'J'
had SRS at age 25, three year later she said "I must have
slept with about thousands of men [sic] ... I do it most nights"
-
When the boyfriend of 'T' learnt that she had had SRS at 19, his
only comment was about her insatiable demand for sex. She
admitted "I want sex [with men] all the time - you could say
I'm a bit of a sex maniac."
-
'A'
had SRS in her early 20's. Her hobbies are now
"horses, sex and men".
-
A minor British celebrity
Lauren Harries had SRS in 2001, age 21. The media
extensively reported her subsequent very active sex
life, most notably with "B" list celebatary Russell Brand.
These women are all passable and had SRS in by their twenties.
Unfortunaly many older post-SRS transsexual women who
desperately desire and seek sex with men as a woman find that
their mature age and poor passability means that such
occurrences are rare - and associated depression and
disillusionment is not unusual. Howrever there are a few
exceptions:
-
Fourty-something
Anne spent the first anniversary of her SRS on holiday in
Ibiza, "getting f**ked by as many young men as possible"
-
Crystal Warren (right) confessed on a British TV talk-show to
having a sex addition and claimed to slept with more than a
thousand men - "I was sleeping with up to seven men a day and
even now I can’t go more than 24 hours without sex". The
next day the Sun newspaper revealed that 42 year-old
Crystal had been born Christopher, and had a
sex-change operation age 35.

Fabiola Nogueira (top) was a shemale porn star
in Brazil.
The money she made was spent on SRS and other
feminisation surgery. She then disappeared
for several years before being outed as Ella, a high class female escort
working in Italy. |
But there are also many transwomen who consider themselves as to
be heterosexual, but in practice have little interest in actual
sexual intercourse. For example, Samantha Kane (who had
SRS at age 37) concluded after five boyfriends that sex as a
woman was rather boring - indeed far less interesting than the
preliminaries to a big night out such as a shopping trip.
The Lure of Money
The sexual image of transsexual women has been
distorted by the prevalence of pre-SRS 'shemales' working as
prostitutes, with a functional penis. This has become a
huge world-wide industry, and very lucrative for the girls and
minders involved. Even excluding Asian and South American
girls, empirical evidence indicates that a third to a half of
all young pre-operative transsexuals have accepted money for
sex. Large numbers of transwomen are being embarrassed
when unexpectedly faced with photo's and other evidence taken
from porn sites years earlier.
However, a large number of transgender women
claim that the only way they could fund the high cost their
sex-reassignment/gender confirmation surgery was by working as
she-male prostitute. Whilst trying to ignore the controversy about
Professor Bailey's idea's, it does seems
that there are two categories of girls involved - those that
never eventually have SRS, and those that do. For the
later, prostitution is often an unfortunate but quick way to
save the money needed for surgery, e.g. Cristini Notta said "My
penis paid for my vagina". Most post-op shemales seem
to subscribe to the mantra that "Men penetrate and women are
penetrated".

"I appreciate you
funding my SRS, but now I'm a virgin again I've taken the vows and
will become a nun" |
Some lucky shemales (generally in their teens or
early twenties) may find "sugar daddies" who are willing to
support them financially, and even pay for medical treatment and
surgery. The latter is usually for breast augmentation,
but may extend to SRS/GRS - which can be very difficult to
refuse even if they have serious doubts.
Sadly many shemale prostitutes who have radical 'bottom surgery'
to their male genitalia soon regret this. The subsequent
frequent use of sexual aids such as a strap-on penis raises
serious questions as to why they had the surgery.
Gender Euphoria
In recent years the concept of Gender Euphoria
has been identified, this means being
very satisfied that your physical sexual appearance and
a lifestyle that matches your mental gender. It is effectively the
opposite of Gender Identity Disphoria (GID) - where extreme
dissatisfaction leads to transition and radical surgery.
An essential component of Gender Euphoria for a transwoman is
usually the ability to
successfully have sexual intercourse as a woman after MTF gender
confirmation surgery.
Getting Mental
Medical
science still hasn't really explained what causes sexual
arousal, but for women (including transsexual women) there seems
to be a more substantial and important 'mental' element than
men.
During foreplay and love making, women are more likely to
imagine that they are making love to an out-of-reach object of
desire (film star, pop star, etc) than men. Perhaps less
comfortably, many girls also have private fantasies involving
sadomasochism, sexual harassment, assault and rape, which they
use as stimulation during masturbation. According to Dr
Alfred Kinsey, 2% of women can reach orgasm from fantasising
alone!

Transwoman Cara claims that she reaches orgasm about 15 times a week
with the help of her sex toys. |
Erotic fantasies are a normal and healthy fact
of life for women and transwomen, a few are even able to bring
themselves to orgasm though imagination alone, without any
physical stimulation - something very rare in men. The use
of female sex toys can supplement mental fantasies with physical
stimulous that greatly increases the chances of reaching orgasm.
For quite a few heterosexual transwomen, the
mere act of vaginal penetration by a man causes extreme mental
excitement which quickly leads to an orgasm, i.e. very little
actual physical stimulation is required. On the other
side, for a lesbian transwomen a mass orgy with the
Chippendales
studs is just a waste of lubricant, whilst just holding hands with a
girlfriend in public is sexually exciting.
The Sexual Cycle in a post-SRS Transsexual Woman.
Excitement:
As the woman
becomes aroused, blood starts to accumulate in the pelvic area.
Vaginal lubrication begins - this will generally be closer to
genetic female norms the longer since surgery. (The
presence of lubrication does not necessarily mean that a woman
is ready for intercourse. And it's certainly no indication
of being close to an orgasm! Penetration is much more
pleasurable if other forms of stimulation are continued for a
while longer.)
As sexual
stimulation continues, the outer lips, inner lips, and sometimes
the breasts begin to look swollen or enlarged.
The clitoris also enlarges - to an embarrassing degree in a few
transwomen (this is very difficult for surgeons to get right).
Plateau:
During this phase, the vaginal lips become even puffier. The
tissues of the walls of the neovagina swell with blood and the
opening to the vagina narrows. Breathing and pulse rate
quicken. A "sex flush" may appear on the stomach, breasts,
shoulders, neck, or face. The areolas of the nipples may
swell, even on small breasts. Many of the woman's muscles
- thighs, hips, hands, and buttocks - may tighten.
Orgasm: The woman's breathing, pulse
rate, and blood pressure continue to rise. The mounting
muscular tension and engorgement of blood vessels reaches a
peak. Orgasm occurs.
Sometimes the orgasm comes with a reflex
grasping-type muscular response of the hands and feet.
Some women feel a warmth emanating from their genital area.
Since orgasm is most often triggered by clitoral stimulation or
deep penile penetrations (dependent upon the individual and the
surgical technique used for her SRS), the excitement usually
stops if the stimulation stops. An incomplete release can
be very frustrating! Consistent and continuous
stimulation in the particular way each woman wants it is usually
required to bring a woman to orgasm.
Resolution: This is when the genitals return to their
normal resting state. This phase can last from a few
minutes to a half hour or longer. Swelling recedes, any
sex flush will disappear, and there is a general relaxation of
muscular tension. The clitoris returns to its usual size
and position. Some women experience soreness in their
genitals for a while after orgasm. |
Sexual Desire
and Enjoyment
As ever
studies
are rare, but the limited available evidence suggests that
transsexual women generally resemble genetic females rather than
males in their patterns of sexual activity and associated
temperamental traits. On average, when compared with
genetic women, transsexual women:
-
Have a similar degree and frequency of sexual
desire.
-
Are just as sensitive and temperamental, and
similarly easy to sexually excite.
-
Have their sexual desires and needs satisfied
almost as much as other women, but less than men.
-
Have significantly more erotic fantasies, dreams
and daydreams.
-
Are as likely to adopt a female sexual position
during intercourse.

Thanks to lucky genetics, female hormones and excellent
surgery - a few young transwomen are physically close to
the
female ideal and their sexual
opportunities are almost unlimited. |
-
Are less likely to experience orgasms than other
women during intercourse.
-
Are less likely to enjoy non-orgasmic sexual
sensations during intercourse.
The
limitations of even the most aesthetically successful
sex-reassignment surgery seems likely to account for the last
two points. There is also no doubt that like other women, the
libido and sexual enjoyment of transsexual women can vary from
negligible to intense, whether or not they are classified as
lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual.
After surgery many (but certainly not all!)
post-GRS transwomen have a relatively low libido, and often an
unwanted bias towards their anus rather than vaginal areas for
physical sexual stimulus and enjoyment. Whilst most post-GRS
transwomen claim in surveys to be delighted by their sexual
experiences post-surgery, as the months pass a large percentage
become increasingly bored with coitus as they go through the
motions with a partner.
To simulate libido and vaginal excitement, the
best answer is determined daily masturbation (up to 30 minutes
or orgasm) using aids such as pornography and vibrators.
If libido remains very low, taking small doses of testosterone
can help - whilst considered to be a 'male' hormone, post-SRS
transwomen often have lower blood levels of testosterone than
genetic women.
During coitus with a man, the average transwomen suffers slightly from the
fact that her pelvis has a slightly different structure from a
genetic woman - preventing or making painful some common sexual
positions. Also, unless the surgery has been of
exceptional quality, she will have less clitoral stimulation
that the average genetic woman, and the traditional 'missionary'
position will have very little physical stimulus. The
'girl on top' approach is most likely to lead to enjoyment and
orgasm - this allows her to find the optimum angle for vaginal
penetration, permits stimulation of the clitoris area, and
allows for mutually enjoyable kissing and fondling of the
breasts.
Physiology, Age and Sexual Activity
The mere mentioning of "age" opens a can of worms which many
transsexual women prefer to ignore - but it's also difficult to
ignore that fact that there's a complex relationship between
age, sex, and libido.
For
genetic women the reality is that their fertility peaks in their
late teens when they have an 80+% chance of getting pregnant in
any 12 month period if regularly having unprotected sex.
It's no coincidence that women are (putting all correctness
aside) at their most
beautiful and attractive to men when in
their teens - and that their bodies are urging them to find an
attractive mate for sex and trap a high calibre partner to look
after them (i.e. not necessarily the same man). Female
fertility thereafter starts to decline, dramatically so from age
35 - more than one-in-three women are technically infertile by
45 and the most of the rest rapidly follow, despite a few highly
publicised exceptions.
The
fertility of men (based in sperm count) probably starts to
decline even before women but the average man is actually older
than the average women when they have their first acknowledged
child. Also the fertility of 35+ men declines more slowly than
women, and many men remain technically fertile in to their 50
and even 60's.
The libido of women seems to decline slower than their
fertility, but still faster than men - particularly if 45+ and
in a long term relationship where the availability of sexual
opportunities doesn't make the heart grow fonder. In
recent years there has been a lot of media coverage about
well-heeled 40-something single female's seeking 'toy boys', but
a much larger number of mature men are 'sugar daddies' for far
younger women.

Poor quality SRS
can result
in a partner
being very disappointed, with potential deadly results. |
As
far as I can make out there has been no research that correlates the
libido and sexual activity of genetic women with post-SRS transsexual
women an age related basis. In the UK the typical MTF transsexual
has SRS surgery when age 35 to 45 - this creates considerable
possibilities as regards both the level of their libido, and the nature
and level
sexual activity in the years before and after surgery.

Corey Rae had SRS age 18 and
has an active sex life with male and female partners,
whilst not shying away from the fact that she sometimes
enjoys using "girl" sex toys.
|
|
I have my own suspicions - for example that a young MTF transwomen has a below average level of sexual activity as a
teenager before SRS, but an above average one afterwards. For
example I became good friends with a transgender girl in her early 20's, one night after a bottle of wine she shocked
me by confessing that she had already slept with about 40 men since
her SRS less than two years earlier!
Finally, whilst I can't prove it, I suspect that even with excellent
surgery the clitoris and vagina have less sensitivity than the average
cis-woman. In my own experience, sexual intercourse post-SRS involves
keeping your partner happy and satisfied, avoiding URI's, mental
stimulation to maintain interest, and if lucky the occasional orgasm.

This transwoman had GCS with Dr. Ginger Slack.
The next day she posted on social media "going
through hours of painful surgeries just so I can fool
straight people into thinking I'm a REAL woman - Hahah!" |
|
Strange Days Indeed
Two decades after I first wrote this article, the internet and
social media features many young and attractive looking
transwomen post-GCS
who proudly proclaim after a date (and presumably sex)
with a man that "he never knew that I was trans".
I find this type of boasting slightly disturbing. Shemale
prostitutes sometimes compete for the number of clients they
service as a "woman" before one discovers that they have
a penis. The only major difference is how many male
partners before one decides that the "woman" once had a
penis.
It's unclear if these transwomen are just the 'tip of the
iceberg', and a huge number of other young transwoman are
successfully - if more quietly - enjoying sexual intercourse
post-GCS. Or maybe they are most successful cases, and
there is vast number of less satistified transwomen.