Sexual Intercourse
This article focuses on the sex life of transsexual women who have had Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) - a separate article is really needed for pre-SRS women.  Whilst male to female transsexuals have widely differing sexual experiences, I believe that this comment from Nikkey - two years after she had SRS at age 25 - fairly represents the majority: "I enjoy sex like any normal girl".

After her SRS Nicole had a very active sex life as a woman.  But she was shocked when a close male relative wanted to have sexual intercourse with her.

By definition, male to female Gender/Sex Reassignment Surgery radically alters the primary and secondary sexual genitalia of the person who undergoes this.  Whatever their sexual inclination, most post-SRS transwomen have a great curiosity about having sexual intercourse (coitus) with a man as a woman.  A quote from a British transgender woman:

I had sex change surgery which, according to the letter I received from my doctors ... produced 'an excellent result'.  I was quite relieved to learn that, as I did not know for 2 months after the op whether or not I was a surgical success or failure.  Mind you, I secretly started having vaginal sex way before I was allowed to do it, so by the time I got the official licence to shag, I was far from being a virgin LOL!  

"Just make sure you tell them all to be gentle with you the first few times" said my surgeon.  Little did he know!   

I'm now fully recovered & have to tell you: vaginal sex is absolutely wonderful, I can completely lose myself in a guy's arms as it makes me feel like the ultimate REAL DOLL I have always wanted to be.

The above quotation certainly doesn't apply to all transsexual women, but most can relate to most of it. 

Physiology

Kelly van der Veer had SRS age 19 and has a functional neo-vagina.  She has appeared in several Dutch TV reality shows - often appearing nude or topless - and is shown here enjoying sex on the beach with a co-star.

Obviously, a pre-requisite for having sexual intercourse (coitus) with a man as a woman is the possession of a vagina, or rather a neo-vagina in the case of transwomen.  However, not all natal vagina's are equal in their appearance, size, depth, smell, lubrication, feel and sexual stimulation.  This is far more the case for the neo-vagina of transwoman.

Whilst the use of an expensive but highly rated surgeon and clinic can maximise the odds of the successful creation of a neo-vagina, there is always some risk of complications.  Most post-SRS/GCS women end-up having at least one follow-on surgical procedure on their bottom genitalia.  This may be only to improve the visual appearance of the vulva, but all too often its needed to try to fix serious problems such as poor healing, constant pain due to nerve damage, excessive bleeding, damage to the urinary tract, lack of depth and frequent infections. 

Sexual intercourse is thus the last thing that some post-GCS women want or need until their physical problems are resolved. 

Being 'swept off my feet' by a man is the dream of many women, but for most transwomen allowing a relationship with a heterosexual man to develop into physical intimacy and sexual intercourse is immensely stressful and worrying.

A Rain Check

For many post-GCS women, their first sexual experiences after surgery will strongly influence their future sexuality.  However, transwomen have radically different physical and mental experiences when they have intercourse after GCS.

For example, one transwoman in her late 20's said after her first night with a man after GCS, "I had discovered sex ... a new hobby ... more boys into bed!".  But for others the experience can be a huge disappointment, one transwoman in her early 40's says of her first experience after GCS with a man:  "Just worried [beforehand] ... [then] I was bored ... [now] have to change the sheets". 

Another now married transwoman admits "I don't have the sex drive I had as a boy ... my husband wants sex all the time but I limit it to maybe every other night as it's so boring."

Jennifer transitioned at 21 and had SRS age 30.  Shown age 39.

Even worse, some post-GCS women find that the penetration of their neo-vagina by a penis to be painful, and that all too often intercourse leads to yeast infections and UTIs.  Yeast infections cause itching, pain and vaginal discharge.  UTIs cause urinary problems such as a frequent urge to urinate and painful urination.

Perhaps inevitably there seems to be a degree of correlation between sexual satisfaction and successful physical feminisation, including age of transition and high-quality surgery.  Good physical feminisation results in more relationships with attractive and 'sexy' partners, and hopefully more enjoyable physical sensations during everything from kissing, petting and nipple sucking, to clitoris stimulation and vaginal penetration.   

Individual priorities also vary dramatically, as the requests made of surgeons in relation to constructing or enhancing the female secondary sexual characteristics of transsexual women show.  By a large margin the first surgery sought by transsexual women is actually breast augmentation, not SRS.

Facial feminisation surgery is often the next priority.  Prior to about 1995 this really meant just a nose job (rhinoplasty), but progress since then has been extraordinary.  For many transwomen with deep pockets and willing to stand the pain, an attractive female face is often only a few large cheques away.

This painting by Ford Madox Brown is unusual as it depicts Romeo with a mature Juliette.

Sex reassignment surgery is often the last item on the surgery list.  Whilst a small number of usually very young transwomen prioritise this before anything else, the sheer cost (both financially and in time) of the procedure results in it having to be deferred.  Instead a priority is given to hormone treatment and cheaper surgical procedures with visible returns such as orchiectomy, breast augmentation, facial feminisation, tracheal shave and voice feminisation.

For older women there seems to be a divergence between stated intentions when first seeking surgery, and the reality when speaking to the surgeon just before having the procedure.  At "crunch time" they often a prioritise a natural looking vulva area and sensitive clitoris suited to masturbation and lesbian relationships, over a deep vagina suited to coitus and penile penetration.  How much this last-minute openness actually affects the imminent surgical procedure is a moot point.

Chelsey and male friend     Lauren - probably a staged press photo     A social media picture posted by Deana O'Riordan, born Dean     "My sex-reassignment surgeon promised that I would be able to have multiple orgasms during sex, can we go again?"

Sexual Activity

Regardless of increasing gender diversity in the 21st century, there is no doubt that the vast majority of young (under 30) transwomen have a strongly female heterosexual orientation and libido - before and after surgery.  An intense desire to be f*cked as a woman by a man is commonplace, one young transgirl describes her SRS at 18 and early sexual experiences:

"I didn't need the operation to feel like a girl because I already felt like one. I had the operation so I could have sex like other women. ...  So I could have more [vaginal depth and] orgasms I paid [an] extra £1,000.  I was in hospital for three weeks and two weeks after I came out, I was ready for a test run. I went to a disco with the sole intention of picking up a man for sex.  I looked for one who was trendy and attractive. I didn't want a virgin or someone who'd be glad of anything he could get!  When I'd found the perfect guy, he took me home and wanted to light candles but I made him do it with all the lights on.  I had to make sure that it not only felt OK but looked OK.  I have a faint scar on my tummy and I've been told it would take a gynaecologist to tell the difference, but I had to find out.  Afterwards, he asked for my phone number but I gave him a false one because he was just an experiment.  I had a few more experiments after that and remember being complimented on my wonderful muscle control."

Many young girls make up for lost time after their surgery.  For example:

• Caroline Cossey (who famously modelled as 'Tula') admits that after her SRS at age 21, she "went a little wild ...  I felt I needed to experiment and experience a number of relationships.  None of the men I slept with had any idea of my past". 

• 'A' had SRS at age 17, she claims that over the next four years she had sex with "... at least 500 men.  I'm just a woman with needs and all these men have satisfied my sexual desires".

• 'C' admits that "About three months after my surgery I went to a swingers’ party and had sex with ten different men."

• 'M' had SRS at age 21.  She then had sexual relationships with over forty different men in less than a year before "settling down" with just three boyfriends - two of whom were married. 

• Chelsey had SRS when age 22 and admits to being "man mad ... I cater for men!"

• 'J' had SRS at age 25, three year later she said "I must have slept with about thousands of men [sic] ... I do it most nights"

• When the boyfriend of 'T' learnt that she had had SRS at 19, his only comment was about her insatiable demand for sex. She admitted "I want sex [with men] all the time - you could say I'm a bit of a sex maniac."

• 'A' had SRS in her early 20's.  Her hobbies are now "horses, sex and men".

• After 'L' had SRS age 18, she organised a contest - the winner being the first man to have sex with her as a woman, the only condition being that he wore a condom.  She thinks of sex "about every 90 seconds"!

• Lauren Harries had SRS in 2001, age 21.  The media extensively reported her subsequent very active sex life, most notably with "B" list celebratory Russell Brand.

• Deana had gender confirmation surgery age 21. She decided to play the field and enjoy her single life with one-night stands, saying "I'm just having fun like a normal girl would in her 20's".]

These women are all passable and had SRS by their twenties.  Unfortunately, many older post-SRS transsexual women who desperately desire and seek sex with men as a woman find that their mature age and poor passability means that such occurrences are rare - and associated depression and disillusionment is not unusual.  However. there are a few exceptions:

• 40-something Anne spent the first anniversary of her SRS on holiday in Ibiza, "getting f**ked by as many young men as possible"

• Anabelle transitioned age 24 but didn't have SRS until 41.  "I [then]wanted to give casual dating a go".  She started used dating apps with great success, but admits 'The more fun I have, the more I seem to be voluntarily asking myself "Is this okay?"

• Crystal Warren (right) confessed on a British TV talk-show to having a sex addition and claimed to have slept with more than a thousand men - "I was sleeping with up to seven men a day and even now I can’t go more than 24 hours without sex".  The next day the Sun newspaper revealed that 42 year-old Crystal had been born Christopher, and had a sex-change operation age 35.

But there are also many transwomen who consider themselves as to be heterosexual, but in practice have little interest in actual sexual intercourse.  For example, Samantha Kane (who had SRS at age 37) concluded after five boyfriends that sex as a woman was rather boring - indeed far less interesting than the preliminaries to a big night out such as a shopping trip.

Also, things can take a devastating turn for the worse.  Angel (right) , who had SRS age 17, discovered a year later that her apparently devoted 38-year-old boyfriend was also sleeping with her still married mother.  When challenged, her mother brutally said "once you became a woman you became a threat", and that men preferred "a real pussy".

Fabiola Nogueira (top) was a shemale porn star in Brazil.  She spent the money she made on feminisation surgery and eventually SRS. She then disappeared for several years before being outed as Ella, a high-class female escort working in Italy.

The Lure of Money

The sexual image of transsexual women has been distorted by the prevalence of pre-SRS 'shemales' working as prostitutes, with a functional penis.  Many transgender women claim that the only way they could fund the high cost their sex-reassignment/gender confirmation surgery was by working as she-male prostitute.

Having sex with 1000 men seems to be a magic number for some transwomen.

This has become a huge world-wide industry, and very lucrative for the girls and minders involved.  Even excluding Asian and South American girls, empirical evidence indicates that a third to a half of all young pre-operative transsexuals have accepted money for sex.  Large numbers of transwomen are being embarrassed when unexpectedly faced with photos and other evidence taken from porn sites years earlier.

Whilst trying to ignore the controversy about Professor Bailey's idea's, it does seem that there are two categories of girls involved - those that never eventually have SRS, and those that do.  For the later, prostitution is often an unfortunate but quick way to save the money needed for surgery, e.g. Cristini Notta said, "My penis paid for my vagina". 

Some lucky shemales (generally in their teens or early twenties) may find "sugar daddies" who are willing to support them financially and even pay for medical treatment and surgery.  The latter is usually for breast augmentation but may extend to SRS/GRS - which can be very difficult to refuse even if they have serious doubts.  Sadly, many shemale prostitutes who have radical 'bottom surgery' to their male genitalia soon regret this.

A slightly different approach is the financial opportunities offered by online websites that require a subscription to access content, usually of a "soft porn" nature.  Many transwomen with a social media presence find that after transitioning they are bombarded with requests for everything from nude photos to partnering men on luxury holidays - often accompanied by the offer of substantial sums of money.  For example Daria Jane (right), a post-GCS woman from Romania, rejected the intimate offers she was being made but became increasingly annoyed that websites were selling photos of her (including fake nudes) without her permission.  Finally, she set-up an OnlyFans account which features provocative and topless photos (although nothing more than used to featured in daily UK newspapers until about 2015), cams and streaming videos, and interactive online events.  Access requires a paid subscription (typically $5-10 a month).  Many other transwomen have also become OnlyFans content creators, and some claim to make "six figure sums" a year. 

However, the reality is that only 5% of OnlyFans creators average annual earnings of more than $300 a month, and that requires constant self-promotion and the regular creation of new content.  In order to make more than that, it is necessary to standout and even treat it as a full-time job.  There are also often considerable outgoings - everything from constantly buying new clothes to paying for professional photo shoots.  For comparison, top 10 pre-GCS shemale porn stars such as Natalie Mars, Daisy Taylor and Aubrey Kate earn about $1 million a year.  And a few exceptional post-GCS escorts such as Giuliana Farfalla and Thalita Zampirolli that are courted by ultra-rich men are estimated to make about $2 million a year in cash and gifts.

In February 2022 transwoman Rose Montoya posted this photo, with the caption "This is my gender euphoria".

Gender Euphoria

In recent years the concept of Gender Euphoria has emerged, this means being very satisfied, even elated, that your physical appearance and a lifestyle now matches your mental gender.  It is effectively the opposite of Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID) - where there is extreme dissatisfaction which leads to transition, hormones and radical surgery. 

Some transgender women experience sexual excitement and even orgasms just from seeing their feminised body, breasts and neo-vagina.  A key component mentally is the ability (even if never practiced) to have vaginal sexual intercourse as a woman after MTF gender confirmation surgery.   

Going Mental

Erotic fantasies are a normal and healthy fact of life for women and transwomen, a few are even able to bring themselves to orgasm though imagination alone, without any physical stimulation - something very rare in men.  According to Dr Alfred Kinsey, 2% of women can reach orgasm just from fantasising, with no physical stimulation!

Cara is a post-SRS transwoman who claims to reach orgasm about 15 times a week with the help of her female sex toys.  No men required!

Many women have private fantasies involving sadomasochism, sexual harassment, assault and rape, which they use as stimulation during masturbation.  The use of female sex toys to supplement these mental fantasies with physical stimulus greatly increasing the chances of reaching orgasm.

During foreplay and love making with a partner, women are more likely then men to imagine that they are making love to an out-of-reach object of desire (film star, pop star, etc.) 

Compared to cis-women, transwomen have a few additional quirks:

For a substantial proportion of heterosexual transwomen, the physical act of vaginal penetration by a man as a woman causes extreme mental excitement which leads to an orgasm, i.e. very little actual physical stimulation is required. 

On the other side, for a lesbian transwoman a mass orgy with the Chippendales studs is just a waste of lubricant, whilst just holding hands with a XX girlfriend in public is sexually exciting.

 

The Sexual Cycle in a post-SRS Transsexual Woman. Excitement: As the woman becomes aroused, blood starts to accumulate in the pelvic area.   Vaginal lubrication begins - this will generally be closer to genetic female norms the longer since surgery.  (The presence of lubrication does not necessarily mean that a woman is ready for intercourse.  And it's certainly no indication of being close to an orgasm!  Penetration is much more pleasurable if other forms of stimulation are continued for a while longer.)   As sexual stimulation continues, the outer lips, inner lips, and sometimes the breasts begin to look swollen or enlarged.  The clitoris also enlarges - to an embarrassing degree in a few transwomen (this is very difficult for surgeons to get right). Plateau: During this phase, the vaginal lips become even puffier.  The tissues of the walls of the neovagina swell with blood and the opening to the vagina narrows.  Breathing and pulse rate quicken.  A "sex flush" may appear on the stomach, breasts, shoulders, neck, or face.  The areolas of the nipples may swell, even on small breasts.  Many of the woman's muscles - thighs, hips, hands, and buttocks - may tighten. Orgasm: The woman's breathing, pulse rate, and blood pressure continue to rise.  The mounting muscular tension and engorgement of blood vessels reaches a peak.  Orgasm occurs.  Sometimes the orgasm comes with a reflex grasping-type muscular response of the hands and feet.   Some women feel a warmth emanating from their genital area.  Since orgasm is most often triggered by clitoral stimulation or deep penile penetrations (dependent upon the individual and the surgical technique used for her SRS), the excitement usually stops if the stimulation stops.  An incomplete release can be very frustrating!   Consistent and continuous stimulation in the particular way each woman wants it is usually required to bring a woman to orgasm. Resolution: This is when the genitals return to their normal resting state.  This phase can last from a few minutes to a half hour or longer.  Swelling recedes, any sex flush will disappear, and there is a general relaxation of muscular tension.  The clitoris returns to its usual size and position.  Some women experience soreness in their genitals for a while after orgasm.

Corey Rae had SRS age 18 and has an active sex life with male and female partners, whilst not shying away from the fact that she enjoys using "girl" sex toys

Sexual Desire and Enjoyment

As ever studies are rare, but the limited available evidence suggests that transsexual women generally resemble genetic females rather than males in their patterns of sexual activity and associated temperamental traits.  On average, when compared with genetic women, transsexual women: 

• Have a similar degree and frequency of sexual desire

• Are similarly easy to sexually excite

• Have their sexual desires and needs satisfied almost as much as other women, but less than men

• Have significantly more erotic fantasies, dreams and daydreams

• Are more likely to use vibrators and other sex toys for physical stimulation

• Are as likely to adopt a female sexual position during intercourse

• Are less likely to enjoy non-orgasmic sexual sensations during intercourse

  Some transwomen are physically close to the female ideal but have no interest in sex.

• Are less likely to experience orgasms than cis-women during intercourse.

"I appreciate you funding my SRS.  But I'm now virgin and have no interest in sex. I have taken the vows and will become a nun"

The limitations of even the most aesthetically successful sex-reassignment surgery seems likely to account for the last two points. There is also no doubt that like other women, the libido and sexual enjoyment of transsexual women can vary from negligible to intense, whether or not they are classified as lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual. 

Most post-GRS transwomen claim in surveys to be delighted by their sexual experiences post-surgery, but as the months pass the reality is that a significant proportion become bored with coitus as they increasingly just go through through the motions with a partner.

After surgery many (but certainly not all!) post-GRS transwomen generally have a low libido, and often an unwanted bias towards their anus rather than vaginal areas for physical sexual stimulus and enjoyment.

 Thanks to lucky genetics, female hormones and excellent surgery - a few transwomen are physically close to the female ideal and their sexual opportunities with men are almost unlimited, but they also just have no libido or interest in coitus. They often have more enjoyment from just posting photos on social media and reading the comments.

Physiology

During coitus with a man, the average transwomen who began hormones after puberty suffers from the fact that her pelvis has a different structure from a genetic woman, in particular the pelvic inlet is smaller and has a different shape and slope, as a result the position of the her vulva and neo-vagina is sightly but noticeably different from cis-women.  This can prevent or make painful some common sexual positions, particularly if the man's penis has a large girth.  Also, unless the surgery has been of exceptional quality, she will have less clitoral stimulation than the average genetic woman, and the traditional 'missionary' position may give little physical stimulus. 

To help simulate libido and vaginal excitement, the best answer is determined daily masturbation (up to 30 minutes or orgasm) using aids such as pornography and sex toys such as vibrators.  If libido remains very low, taking small doses of testosterone can help - whilst considered to be a 'male' hormone, post-SRS transwomen often have lower blood levels of testosterone than genetic women. 

Many transwomen find that the girl on top approach, e.g. the 'cowgirl' position, is most likely to lead to mutual enjoyment and an orgasm.  This allows her to find the optimum angle for vaginal penetration, facilitates stimulation of the clitoris area, enables fondling of her breasts, and still permits some enjoyable kissing.

Age and Sexual Activity
The mere mentioning of "age" opens a can of worms which many transsexual women prefer to ignore - but it's also difficult to ignore that fact that there's a complex relationship between age, sex, and libido.

For genetic women the reality is that their fertility peaks in their late teens when they have an 80+% chance of getting pregnant in any 12-month period if regularly having unprotected sex.  It's no coincidence that women are (putting all correctness aside) at their most beautiful and attractive to men when in their teens - and that their bodies are urging them to find an attractive mate for sex and trap a high calibre partner to look after them (i.e. not necessarily the same man).  Female fertility thereafter starts to decline, dramatically so from age 35.  Most women are infertile by their mid-40's.  Although are a few exceptions going into the 50's, these are usually enabled by a lot of expensive medical treatment.

The fertility of men (based in sperm count) probably starts to decline even before women but the average man is actually older than the average women when they have their first acknowledged child.  Also, the fertility of 35+ men declines more slowly than women, and many men remain technically fertile into their 50 and even 60's. 

The libido of women seems to decline slower than their fertility, but still faster than men - particularly if 45+ and in a long-term relationship where the availability of sexual opportunities doesn't make the heart grow fonder.  In recent years there has been a lot of media coverage about well-heeled 40-something single female's seeking 'toy boys', but a much larger number of mature men are 'sugar daddies' for far younger women.

Poor quality SRS can result in a partner being very disappointed, with potential deadly results.

I'm unaware of any medical research that correlates the libido and sexual activity of genetic women with post-SRS transsexual women on an age-related basis.  In the UK the typical MTF transsexual has SRS surgery when age 35 to 45 - this creates considerable possibilities as regards both the level of their libido, and the nature and level sexual activity in the years before and after surgery. 

My own suspicion is that a young MTF transwomen has a below average level of sexual activity before SRS, but an above average one afterwards.  An extreme and disturbing example is a young transwoman who shocked me be revealing that as teenage boy he had never had sex with a girl, but he/she was repeatedly raped by her boss - the head chef at the hotel she worked at.  She had SRS age 20 and joined an airline as cabin crew, in two years she then had intercourse with 40 different men.

A still from the 2023 Chinese TV reality series "If the love is not great, count the Money!" showing 100 woman being selected to compete . The front row includes transwomen (e.g. Ala and Pynk) from "near abroad" who had been paid to participate, if only briefly.

Strange Days Indeed

For decades, shemale prostitutes, most commonly from Asia and South America, have serviced a surprisingly large number of male clients.  They typically get breast implants but avoid hormones as these reduce the size of their penis and ability to get an erection.  The ideal is to meet a rich sugar daddy who will look after them for a few years.  Most eventually revert to male as they become too old to attract customers and have their breast implants removed.

The next step up seems to be prostitutes transitioning full time and having radical and irreversible surgery such as vaginoplasty.  They compete for how many customers they can bed before one realises that she once had a penis.  As they move into their 30's the objective becomes to marry a rich man - either a straight man or a "trans lover".

Two decades after I first wrote this article, the internet and social media features many young and attractive looking transwomen post-GCS who proudly proclaim after a date (and presumably sexual intercourse) with a man that "he never knew that I was trans".  I find this type of boasting slightly disturbing.  But even stranger are the social media accounts of men having vaginoplasty and other feminisation surgery so that they can experience having sex as a woman.  They apparently intend after a few years to de-transition and have surgery to reconstruct their penis.

My Experience

Despite the many claims and posts on social media by transwomen describing how wonderful their first experience of vaginal sex/coitus with a man was, that was not my reality.  I think my own experience of sex is far more typical of most adult transgender women after GCS - you know you need to do it but are nervous and hoping it won't be too painful, and quietly glad when it's all over.

The surgery had re-located the nerve endings of my removed male genitalia, concentrating them into my newly formed clitoris and vulva, with little sensation in the vagina itself.  About two months after surgery my husband physically explored my new female bottom genitalia for the first time and I had a scary shock - when he touched my clitoris I was certain that it was the glans (tip) of my erect penis, whilst when he stroked my labia it was as though he was fondling my scrotum.  It took a long time for my mind to slowly reprogramme itself and my clitoris feel like ... well a clitoris.

Four months after my surgery I had permission from my surgeon to have "safe sex", with the optimistic promise that I should be able to enjoy it.  After a few weeks prevaricating, I romantically ambushed my unsuspecting better half.  When he penetrated my vagina it felt very strange and it was certainly not a 'turn on'  to have an erect penis vigorously disrupting my nether parts - I was very scared that something would "break".  I tried not to show it but sexual excitement was the last thing on my mind.  Thankfully all went well and afterwards my satisfied husband reassured me that my vagina had felt wonderful to him, - I didn't want any more detail than that!

Whilst I initially doubted the advantages of possessing a vagina over a penis for vaginal coitus (penetrative sexual intercourse), I've reversed my opinion.  Advantages I've found include the greater diversity of enjoyable physical positions, much increased mental excitement, enjoying the physical stimulation of my clitoris (not too much, not too little, just right!), exercising pelvic muscles that I never knew I had, and a prolonged capacity for sex (subject to the danger of the man's wilting capabilty!).  Also, post-orgasm (if so lucky), a general feeling of well-being and greatly reduced stress levels.

My pragmatic conclusion is that sexual intercourse post-GCS involves keeping your partner happy and satisfied, finding ways of getting sexually stimulated yourself, and if lucky being rewarded by the occasional orgasm.  But above all else, try to avoid UTI's!