Television has developed a passion for including a transwoman in every reality TV series – with the lady in question usually (but not always) being very passable before eventually being out’ed in some way.

The genesis of this probably occurred in early 2004 when Sky broadcast to the UK a reality TV series called there’s Something about Miriam.

This involved six male contestants spending three weeks at a villa in Ibiza trying to woo a pretty 21-year-old Mexican pre-op transsexual woman called Miriam Rivera in order to win the prize.  Only at the end were the supposedly shocked contestants told about Miriam's "something", although from previously shown conversations they clearly had a suspicion.  The contestants then began a legal action against the producers claiming conspiracy to commit sexual assault. Their lawyer said: "The men had no idea that Miriam was a transsexual. ... They are horrified because there are shots of them snogging, cuddling and groping her."  Sky settled the case for £125,000 ($200,000) each.

A few months later the fifth series of Big Brother UK started.  27-year old Nadia Almada was a popular housemate who whilst not worried about hiding her generous buxom from fellow contestants, did keep secret the fact that she was a post-SRS transgender woman - although viewers were informed.  After 71 days in the Big Brother house, she emerged as the winner, securing a massive 74% of the votes and winning £63,500.

These two programmes set a formula that has been used numerous times since, a few more examples from the UK:

In 2015, MTV's Ex on the Beach included 30 year old Larissa Alicia Summers as the cast member 'Laura', listing her with the improbable age of just 22!  She had been outed by newspapers in 2009 when working as a pin-up model, and it was no real shock when another contestant called her "a man".

In 2019, Channel 4, showed in the UK the short series Gender Quake, where eleven strangers of different gender identities and sexualities shared a house for a week. Given the nature of the programme, it wasn’t a great surprise when 23-year old Cambell Kenneford revealed that she was a post-SRS transwoman.

Finally, the BBC 3 reality series Heartbreak Holiday - also shown in 2019 - followed the amorous adventures of ten 20-somethings on a month long vacation in the Greek islands.  Maxine Heron (age 24) introduced herself to viewers as a transwoman at the start of episode 1.  But she was completely passable and it was half-way through the series before she announced to her clearly shocked companions that she was “trans”, having transitioned age 16.

Thankfully with modern surgical techniques the chance of an immediate exclamation of "Oh my god, what is that" by the man on seeing his FTM partners vulva has decreased very considerably in recent years.  Going further, the happy coincidence of a pelvic girdle (bones) with intermediate sexual proportions and a good result from a top surgeon will leave male lovers very contented and some natal women very jealous - but this is a best case.

A few transwomen are lucky enough to meet a "true love" whilst still pre-op.  Her sex reassignment surgery can then be shared experience, and the subsequent intercourse "wonderful", no matter how bad it actually is!  In practice, most transwoman break their virginity as a woman with an experienced heterosexual man.  If he's unaware of her past, this poses significant risk, particularly if she is at an age where sexual inexperience as a female might seem very strange.

Some very passable transwomen are out'ed due to poor quality 'bottom' surgery.

The British comedian Bob Monkhouse relates in his autobiography Crying with Laughter how after a show he was approached by a buxom and "beautiful blonde dancer from the chorus line" and "one dinner later enjoyed a night of passion".  However, her vagina gave him no satisfaction, he described the feeling during intercourse as being mushy and blocked, "it was like plunging your feet into an apple-pie bed".  At breakfast the next morning the poor girl admitted to him that she had recently had a sex change operation, and that he was the first man she had ever had intercourse with.  Bob then belatedly remembered him/her from the male chorus line at his show in Glasgow a few months earlier.  Bob is reasonable about this (at least in the book), but many men might not be. 

Top, a 2014 photo from Sun Jing-Ya's Facebook site, below the photo on her still male ID card dated 2009.

A complete contrast to Bob's girl is the story of Sun Jing-Ya or 'Linda'.  Born in China in 1989 as Luo Yue, she worked the streets for several years as a shemale to fund her sex-reassignment surgery in 2012, age 22.  She then quickly became renowned for her sexual skills and techniques as a woman, and within months was able to charge VIP's $3000 for a one-hour session!  Prostitution is illegal in China and her success eventually led to her being arrested in 2015 and being made an example of.  At her trial the prosecution claimed that she had been paid nearly $100,000 to attend a three-day orgy with wealthy businessmen.  They also unexpectedly produced evidence showing that she had been born male - undoubtedly to the shock of many of her former clients.  She was jailed for four years.

Whilst the above stories are worrying, in practice many recently post-SRS woman many transwomen are eager - even frantic - to have sex with a man after their GRS.  It might not be Romeo and Juliet, but they want build up sexual experiences comparable to women 10, 20 or even 30 years younger.  A common method is to one night stands with a drunken but horny young man at a night club - even a mature and unattractive women has a good chance at the end of the night if sex is on offer for free. 

The 1978 semi-documentary "Let Me Die a Woman" has many faults, but the scene showing a transwoman (probably an actress) facing the consequences of having sex too soon after her SRS/GRS is still relevant.

Bob's anecdote hints at a common problem, prematurely having vigorous intercourse can cause serous damage to a neo-vagina.  Surgeons generally recommend at least a six week delay before having intercourse after surgery, but one study found that 1 in 5 transwomen have intercourse before that - usually voluntarily but sometimes after intense pressure from their partner.  Based on my experience I would strongly advice against a stealth transwoman trying to break her virginity as a woman with a stranger (one night stand?) until at least six months after surgery.  By that time the scars from the surgery will have faded significantly whilst the pubic hair will have regrown, so being viewed naked under a strong light or even in daylight will hopefully not be a disaster.  Also, six months of vaginal healing, dilation and post-natal exercises, perhaps combined with a little bit of rehearsal with a dildo whilst watching porn videos will help to give him a good sexual experience - and hopefully yourself as well when nervousness fades.

Whilst a disappointing vagina is the most common give away during sexual intercourse, obvious and poor quality breast augmentation doesn't help.  A variant of this problem is Gemila, who had SRS age 36.  She had led an active sex life with multiple male partners for several years with no problems, but one night in bed her boyfriend suddenly said "you're a transsexual man, don't deny it".  He had the terminology slightly wrong, but she didn't deny it.  The giveaway was that her breasts were far to pert and teenage-like for a woman of about 40.  Puzzled, he had done some research on the internet and the decisive factor was discovering that Gemila's small areolae were characteristic of a transwoman.

 

Nadia Almada (above right) outed herself by entering Big Brother UK 2004.  A News of the World headline in July 2009 - "Lingerie model Lisa was once a man called Louis (and her boyfriend didn't know)"

Teddy Quinlivan (shown age 21) was a top-100 female model for two years before outing herself as a transsexual. Her limited breast development drew no attention, indeed she was used as a body model for store mannequins!

Transwomen Outing Themselves

Some transsexual women who achieve deep stealth then seem to have an urge to "play with fire" and start to take ever increasing risks.  For example: starting to revisit old haunts, taking on a job or role with a high public profile, excessive surgery, an affair with a celebrity, posting topless or even nude photos on the internet, becoming a politician, making false claims that are easily to checked.  An extreme example is Lana Woods, who starred as a woman in several porn films in the early 1990s, allegedly without the producer knowing her past.

Some stealthy transsexuals eventually decide to 'out' themselves.  This is most often done by transwomen who successfully transition when young, but in middle age decide to come out as being a transsexual woman - usually in support of the wider trangender community. A few examples include Lynn Conway, Aleshia Brevard and Anna Taylor. 

There are also instances where stealthy transwomen appear to have decided for financial reasons to sell their story to the media, examples in the UK possibly include Nadia Almada, Angel Paris Jordan, and Lisa Du Preez. 

Nadia (born Jorge 'Carlos' Leodoro in 1977) transitioned when she moved to the UK from Madeira in 1999 and had her SRS a few years later.  She won a £65,000 prize by intriguing housemates and television viewers when, age 27, she participated in the UK version of television reality show Big Brother in 2004.  She went into the house stealth but housemates began to wonder if she was TS after just a few days.  The program's producers already knew that she was a transsexual, and soon the rest of the world did as well.

Jackie McAuliffe, age 28

Lisa's story appeared in various newspapers and magazines with tabloid suitable quotes such as "When I met my fiancé ... in a pub a year ago we hit it off right away but I didn’t tell him about the surgery."

Jackie McAuliffe is perhaps an extreme example of this.  Born Jason, she transitioned age 20 and had SRS when 25.  She was fortunate enough to be a totally as a woman and in the late 1990's she worked for several years as a [female] prostitute, sleeping with hundreds of men.  But she was very publically outed (albeit presumably with Jackie's consent) in the BBC docu-drama Paddington Green - briefly becoming the most famous transsexual in Britain.  The BBC paid her very little and a new career as a musician quickly came to nothing; she readily admitted to financial difficulties in the follow on program Jackie's Story. Since then she has married and changed her name, the passage of time and a low profile life style has allowed her to slip back in to stealth but the trail of evidence means that she can never be totally sure that she won't be recognised as a transsexual.

Céline Van Den Bossche

Whilst at primary school, Van Den Bossche knew that he was different from the other boys.  He began wearing make-up and dressing as a girl. When age 15, she transitioned, adopted the the forename Celine and began female hormone treatment.  Age 18, she underwent a sex change operation and was now legally a woman in Belgium.  Four years later she was working as a hair dresser and in all aspects of her life was living as a woman.  Perhaps unwisely she entered and won a local beauty contest. As a result, she qualified for the Miss Belgium contest and strong local support made her one of the favourites.  However, a reporter from Laatste Nieuw did some research and interviewed her just before the contest, in answer to a question she admitted "I'm transgender, so what?".  Now out'ed, she was a shock elimination in the preliminary round.

Eve began taking oestrogen hormones in her teens and had SRS age 20.

A common problem is becoming too confident in your ability to pass.  For example, Eve was already stealth when she had SRS age 20.  She was subsequently so confident about her ability to pass physically that she unwisely posted a "soft porn" video of herself.  Unfortunately viewers quickly identified give-aways such as scaring in her vulva area and she was outed.

Another example is Indonesian born Monica, she had SRS at a young age and went stealth when in 1993 she met and soon married a Dutch man, Jan, who was nearly twenty years older.  She moved with him to the Netherlands and they were happily married for 19 years, until Jan discovered in 2012 that his wife was advertising herself on-line as being available to young men.  In addition, some of her customers commented in reviews that she was a post-SRS transsexual rather than a natal cis-woman.  Jan confronted his wife who admitted she had indeed been born a man.  He had never suspected anything - Monica took contraceptive pills (she didn't want kids and he had accepted this) and every month she apparently had a period and used sanitary towels.  The only slight giveaway in Jan's hindsight was the need to use a lubricant when they had sexual intercourse. 

Jan looking at a picture of his wife Monica in happier days.

Jan sought to have the marriage annulled, claiming 'I feel I've been assaulted [sexually]' but changes in the law since 1993 meant that this was impossible as Monica was legally a woman in the Netherlands and the marriage was thus valid.  As of 2015, Jan and Monica are still technically married and they even still live in the same house, although apparently rarely speaking.

Other major risks are also involved with trying to go partially stealthy, e.g. going "stealth" at work but "out" with friends and family.  Inevitably this division will not work long term.  Confiding ones transsexuality to a partner or best friend with an oath of secrecy is extremely risky - human nature being what it is the word will almost inevitably slowly spread.  The temptation or even need to reveal one's background in order to get a job, obtain a bank loan, during a medical, etc., is also often great, but again this breaks the stealth rules and increases the risk of eventually being out'ed.

Social media has become nightmare when going stealth, with many transwomen managing legacy "him" accounts as well as new "her" accounts.

I can't resist including this photo from the 2012 Miss Transsexual contest held in Pataya, Thailand.  The tuck of the girl in the centre has failed and an erection is very obvious!

Another example of the potential issues is 17 year-old transgirl Sarah Green who was successfully passing and developing as a young woman - "the first time I went out as a woman I felt really embarrassed but it was brilliant too.  I wasn't hiding anymore".  She wanted other young transsexuals to know that "they don't have to be ashamed of who they are" and so she agreed to appear on Blunt - a teens' TV programme  But an unfortunate result of outing herself so publicly was that people on her street now knew that she was a transsexual, and shouted abuse at her.

Victoria Beltran with Admiral General Aladeen (aka Sacha Baron Cohen) in the The Dictator (left), and 'guarding' him at a publicity event (right).

A high profile case is the story of Victoria Beltran.  She was probably born in February 1979 - although 1987 is also stated in some press reports.  It's likely but not certain that she transitioned and became Victoria when she moved to New York age 15, and had SRS age 18.  She then went deep stealth, working occasionally as a model (e.g. Maxim Magazine, Dior, L’Oreal) or extra in TV shows (e.g. Law & Order and Ugly Betty).  In 2009 she married Brett Bergman, who was apparently unaware that she was a transsexual.  

In 2011 Victoria was selected to be one of the mini-skirted "Virgin Guard" in Sacha Baron Cohen’s movie The Dictator, briefly appearing in the movie and rather more prominently at subsequent PR events in 2012.  She became worried that she would be out'ed (which indeed occurred in May 2013) and thus revealed to her husband that she was transgender and had SRS.  Shocked, he sought comfort with a female work colleague, Katarzyna Sakowicz, and they began an affair.  Victoria discovered this and started to make threatening phone calls to Katarzyna, who eventually contacted the police - resulting in Victoria being arrested in May 2013 on harassment charges.  Victoria then said “I’m more a woman than she’ll [Katarzyna] ever be!”, and claimed that her husband actually "knew the whole time” about her past.  Her husband has since filed for divorce.

 

Marriage and Children
A huge pressure faced by stealthy and physically passable transwoman in their 20's and 30's is to marry.  The vast majority do indeed marry a man but they then face intense pressure to have children - with constant hints and reminders that the biological clock is ticking and that they need to have children before it's too late. 

A still from the film Carlotta, Carol with her future mother-in-law expressing her hope that she will soon be a Grandmother.

The Australian film Carlotta - based largely on the autobiographies of pioneering transwoman Carol Byron- includes a study of how her marriage was destroyed by her mother-in-law's expectation of grandchildren.  She had SRS in 1971 but her autobiographies may not fully document this period of her life and it's unclear how accurate the film is.  One speculation is that in 1975 she met and married in London a man with the surname Spencer whilst stealth, she certainly used the name Carol Spencer for several years thereafter.

In the 1970's and 1980's a stealthy transwoman could claim that she was infertile due to an unstated medical conditions, and this would be accepted.  However, advances in medical science mean that trying to make such a claim in the 2010's will instead lead to "helpful" suggestions of various tests and treatments.

When transwoman Carmen Carrera married her longstanding boyfriend, she became the stepmother of his two daughters from a previous marriage.

Given the current impossibility of actually bearing children, push back reasons can include:

1. I just don't want children.  Whilst this may cause arguments with a husband, it justifies the taking of 'contraceptive pills'.

2. I'm infertile due to a medical condition.  This can be problematic if the husband is determined to have children as so many conditions can now be treated.

3. I've had a miscarriage.   A fake pregnancy and early miscarriage can be a credible and traumatic excuse, but if repeated will be problematic if the husband is determined to have children.

4. We don't want children.  If the husband is aware that his wife is a transwoman, then a lack of children can be put down to natural misfortune.

 

In 2015 the Argentinean model Nicole Ferri appeared in the short film Panza ('Belly Bump' in English), a documentary of the true-life story of a young woman who was faking being pregnant in order to get the attention of a bank security guard, but was then shot when the bank was robbed.  Nicole is shown using pillows to create a baby bump and whilst a subtitle makes clear that she's an actress, it's not stated that she is a pre-SRS transwoman.  This documentary is presumably the source of re-occurring claims that Nicole is a mother.

Women Incorrectly Outed

The spotlight of even modest fame and publicity is fatal for most transwomen attempting to go stealth.  It quickly out's most transwomen, even if they later claim that they weren't really trying to go stealth.  Many more (from Caroline Cossey to Harisu to Nikkie de Jager) realise that they are about to out'ed and pre-empt this publicly.  There are also a few transwomen such as Teddy Quinlivan, Sophia Hutchins, Tatjana Wiedemann and Marie France who chose to out themselves as transgender after years of successfully passing as a woman.  This may still leave some well know women who have successfully concealed being transgender, but it's unlikely that many would be considered an A or B list celebrity.

Conversely, some genetic cis-women celebrities have been incorrectly outed as being transgender.  In some cases this is undoubtedly deliberate "false news" aimed either harming the recipient in some way or raising the profile of the poster. 

One example is the popular American political pundit Ann Coulter.  In 2005 there began a determined attempt to expose her as a transsexual woman, or perhaps a suffer of AIS.  A leading speculation claimed that she was born Arthur Coltrane in Georgia (USA) and had SRS in Denmark as a teenager.  A host of circumstantial evidence was offered to prove that she was once "male", e.g. that she is: 6ft tall; has brow ridges; an Adams Apple; big hands; big feet; has not been forthcoming with her childhood records; her age varies oddly in interviews; and  her birth certificate has never been published.  However, many years of determined investigation ultimately failed to provide any strong evidence that Ann is transgender (e.g. photos of her as a boy), if she is actually a transsexual then she has taken going 'stealth' to an impressive depth.

. Lady Gaga with a penis in her panties?  Almost certainly not - it's probably a large clitoris inflated by blood during the stress and hormonal surges of the concert.

In December 2008 photos of pop singer Lady Gaga during a concert were posted on the internet that appeared to show the outline of a penis, leading to suggestions that she was a pre-op transsexual woman or hermaphrodite.  However, the far more likely explanations are that she had a sanitary pad in her pants, or that she has an unusually  large clitoris and was sexually aroused at the time of the photos.  Lady Gaga then stoked the speculation that she transgender for over a year - all publicity is good publicity!  In 2010 she appeared in a very revealing music video (Bad Romance) apparently aimed at proving that she didn't have a penis, and another video (Telephone) made fun of the idea.  This ended the debate - except for some who believe that she had belatedly spent some of her fortune on radical feminisation surgery of her bottom genitalia.

Another singer-musician claimed to be a transsexual is Avril Lavigne, very oddly due to her brother (Matt).  He said in 2015 that when their mother (Judy) became pregnant with Avril, their violent father insisted that it must be a daughter.  The new born baby was unfortunately a boy but Judy dressed and brought up Avril as a girl, eventually even giving her female hormones.  This improbable story is supported by some circumstantial evidence:

• Avril tends to be tomboyish in appearance when dressed casually

• Avril reached the age of 35 with no children from two marriages and several serious relationships

• Her short height (5ft 2in) is actually compatible with taking excessively large dosages of oestrogen hormones at a young age

• The length of her fingers are more typical of a genetically XY male than a XX female

• She has had extensive plastic surgery, aka facial feminisation surgery.  Her nose, chin and jaw line have all changed compared to a more robust appearance in her early teens

• Before having breast augmentation, Avril posed topless for several photo shoots and her small breasts with small areola, were typical of a young transwoman 

When 'Annika' started posting on social media it was soon suggested that she was a transwoman.  But this was never proven.

Nevertheless, it seems very unlikely that Avril is transgender given that the validity of her marriages was never challenged, and that her other intimate partners have never sold a story to the media.  The story had died by 2018.

The most notorious example of a genetically XX woman being mistakenly outed as a transwoman is Miss France 2001 - Elodie Gossuin.  Since then there have been numerous instances of CIS-women posting photo's of themselves online using social media, and receiving an unfair comment along the lines "she looks like a trannie".