Another example is a man who was awarded a grant by an Arts Council.  His painting subsequently won a contest but she had very successfully transitioned to female by this time.  Despite informing the Council of her new female name, at the award cermony her former male name was displayed on the big screen during the presenation ceremony!  Several national newspapers reported the disaster.

Over the last two decades, perhaps a dozen transwomen have asked me for various reasons to remove their photos and information from this website.  Despite the clearly determined efforts of some, it's a still often a simple exercise to disprove that all evidence of their past had really gone from the web.

Maurizia Paradiso (centre) in an episode of Colpa Grosso in 1991

Television

Maurizia Paradiso is an Italian transwoman.  By age 23 she had transitioned and was performing as a "transvesti" in nightclubs, in 1988 she had SRS age 33 and went stealth.  She spent the next two years working in erotic telesales with some success - and in 1991 she become the host of the notorious (due to it's semi-nudity) but very popular game show Colpa Grosso ("Big Shot").  In one episode contestants had to identify in the "Big Question" which of the bevy of increasingly scantily clad young women parading on stage was a transsexual.  The twist was that it was actually the presenter - Maurizia. 

In more recent years, television has developed a passion for including a transwoman in every reality TV series – with the lady in question ideally being very passable before eventually being out’ed in some way.

The genesis of this probably occurred in early 2004 when Sky broadcast to the UK a reality TV series called There’s Something about Miriam.  This involved six male contestants spending three weeks at a villa in Ibiza trying to woo a pretty 21-year-old Mexican pre-op transsexual woman called Miriam Rivera in order to win the prize.  Only at the end were the supposedly shocked contestants told about Miriam's "something", although from previously shown conversations they clearly had an increasing suspicion.  The contestants then began a legal action against the producers claiming conspiracy to commit sexual assault.  Their lawyer said: "The men had no idea that Miriam was a transsexual. ... They are horrified because there are shots of them snogging, cuddling and groping her."  Sky settled the case for £125,000 ($200,000) each..

A few months later, the fifth series of Big Brother UK started.  27-year-old Nadia Almada was a popular housemate who ceased to worry about hiding her generous buxom from her fellow contestants as the days past.  But she did keep secret the fact that she was a post-SRS transgender woman - although viewers were informed.  After 71 days in the Big Brother house, she emerged as the winner, securing a massive 74% of the votes and winning £63,500.

These two programmes set a formula that has been used numerous times since, a few more examples from the UK:

In 2015, MTV's Ex on the Beach Season 3 included Larissa Alicia Summers as the cast member 'Laura'.  She had been outed as a post-SRS transwoman by newspapers in 2009 when working as a pin-up model, most viewers soon knew this so it was no real shock when another contestant called her "a man".

In 2019, Channel 4, showed in the UK the short series Gender Quake.  Eleven strangers of different gender identities and sexualities shared a house for a week. Given the nature of the programme, it wasn’t a great surprise when 23-year old Cambell Kenneford (left) revealed that she was a post-SRS transwoman but her housemates seemed awed by her passability, from a shared bedroom to the hot tub.

Finally, the BBC 3 reality series Heartbreak Holiday - also shown in 2019 - followed the amorous adventures of ten 20-somethings on a month-long vacation in the Greek islands.  Maxine Heron (age 24) introduced herself to viewers as a transwoman at the start of episode 1.  But she was completely passable and it was half-way through the series before she announced to her surprised companions that she was “trans”, having transitioned age 16.

Whilst the above stories are worrying, in practice many recently post-SRS woman are eager - even frantic - to have sex with a man after their GRS.  It might not be Romeo and Juliet, but they want to build up sexual experiences comparable to women 10, 20 or even 30 years younger.  A common method is to have one-night stands with a drunken but horny young man at a night club - even a mature and unattractive woman has a good chance at the end of the night if sex is on offer for free. 

The 1978 semi-documentary "Let Me Die a Woman" has many faults, but the scene showing a transwoman (probably an actress) facing the consequences of having sex too soon after her SRS/GRS is still relevant.

Bob's anecdote hints at a common problem, prematurely having vigorous intercourse can cause serious damage to a neo-vagina.  Surgeons generally recommend at least a six-week delay before having intercourse after surgery, but one study found that 1 in 5 transwomen have intercourse before that - usually voluntarily but sometimes after intense pressure from their partner. 

A stealth transwoman trying to break her virginity as a woman via a one-night stand really need to wait at least six months after surgery.  By that time the scars from the surgery will have faded significantly whilst the pubic hair will have regrown, so being viewed naked under bright lights or even in the morning daylight will hopefully not be a disaster.  Also, six months of vaginal healing, dilation and post-natal exercises, perhaps combined with a little bit of rehearsal with a dildo whilst watching porn videos will help to give him a good sexual experience - and hopefully herself as well when nervousness fades.

Whilst a disappointing vagina is the most common give away during sexual intercourse, obvious and poor quality breast augmentation doesn't help.  A variant of this problem is Gemila, who had SRS age 36.  She then led an active sex life with multiple male partners for several years with no problems, but one night in bed her boyfriend suddenly said "you're a transsexual man, don't deny it".  He had the terminology slightly wrong, but she didn't deny it.  The giveaway was that her unaugmented breasts were far too pert and teenage-like for a woman of about 40.  Puzzled, he did some research on the internet and discovered that Gemila's small areolae and breast shape was typical of a transwoman - and some other physical characteristics and problems that Gemila had then suddenly made sense to him.

If you are a transwoman - don't get ill on holiday!

A huge problem for transwomen going stealth is the impossibility of passing many medical tests and examinations as a natal woman.  For example, even the most minor procedure or test will require the completion of forms asking questions such as:

• Are you pregnant?
• When was your last period?
• What medications are you taking?

Most of these transwomen went stealth after this photo was taken.  But it still often appears on-line, so I feel able to include it here.

Not completing the forms correctly is risky - both medically and legally.  For example, I had a medical emergency when I fainted from dehydration and heat stroke whilst on holiday.  My holiday insurance company refused to payout as I had not revealed that I was transgender, even though this was completely irrelevant to the event.  I ended up nearly $5000 out of pocket.

I entered the Irish public health care system age 39 when I needed to get my hormone prescriptions renewed, which my local doctor (GP) thankfully did with a minimal of fuss.  I then bumbled along for many years until as a woman who had reached a certain age I started to receive letters inviting me to have smear tests and breast mammograms.  The former I decline but the mammograms I feel are essential, but they always involve an embarrassing conversation when I have to say that I'm a transwoman.

In another example, 29-year-old Mathilda had been stealth for a decade after her transition and surgery.  Whilst a clinic prescribes her hormones she uses her local doctor for minor illnesses.  On one visit the doctor decided to do a blood test - two days later she got a call from a nurse saying, "Your blood test came back abnormal.  Are you sure you are not pregnant?  When did you last have a period?"  She had no choice but to reveal that she was a transwoman, and she is certain that this led to her employer also discovering this.  

Over Confident Transwomen Being Outed

I can't resist including this photo from the 2012 Miss Transsexual contest held in Pataya, Thailand.  The tuck of the girl in the centre has failed and an erection is very obvious!

Some transsexual women who achieve deep stealth then seem to have an urge to "play with fire" and start to take ever increasing risks.  For example: starting to revisit old haunts, taking on a job or role with a high public profile, excessive surgery, an affair with a celebrity, posting topless or even nude photos on the internet, becoming a politician, making false claims that are easily to checked. 

A common problem is becoming too confident in your ability to pass physically.  For example, Eve was already stealth when she had SRS age 20, and subsequently led a very active sex life with men without any problems.  She then unwisely posted online a "soft porn" video of herself with a male partner.  Viewers quickly identified that she was a transwoman and she was outed.

In the early 1990's Lana Woods, a post-SRS transwoman, was the lead female star in several porn films.  The producer allegedly didn't know her male past but Lana eventually made the mistake of confiding to a make-up artist, who leaked her story.

Jan looking at a picture of his wife Monica in happier days.

Indonesian born Monica is another example of over confidence.  She had SRS at a young age and went stealth when in 1993 she met and soon married a Dutch man, Jan, who was nearly twenty years older.  She moved with him to the Netherlands and they were happily married for 19 years, until Jan discovered in 2012 that his wife was advertising herself on-line as being available for sex with young men.  In addition, some of her customers commented in reviews that she was a post-SRS transsexual rather than a natal cis-woman.  Jan confronted his wife who admitted she had indeed been born a man.  He had never suspected anything - Monica took contraceptive pills (she didn't want kids and he had accepted this) and every month she apparently had a period and used sanitary towels.  The only slight giveaway in Jan's hindsight was the need to use a lubricant when they had sexual intercourse. 

Jan then sought to have the marriage annulled, claiming 'I feel I've been assaulted [sexually]' but this was denied as the Netherlands recognises transwomen such as Monica as legally a woman, and the marriage was thus valid.  As of 2015, Jan and Monica are still technically married and they even still live in the same house, although apparently rarely speaking.

Victoria Beltran with Admiral General Aladeen (aka Sacha Baron Cohen) in the The Dictator (left), and 'guarding' him at a publicity event (right).

A high-profile case is the story of Victoria Beltran.  She was probably born in February 1979 - although 1987 is stated in some press reports.  It's likely but not certain that she transitioned and became Victoria when she moved to New York in 1993, age 15, and had SRS age 18.  She then went deep stealth, working occasionally as a model (e.g. Maxim Magazine, Dior, L’Oreal) and an extra in TV shows (e.g. Law & Order and Ugly Betty).  In 2009 she married Brett Bergman, who was allegedly unaware that she was transsexual.  

In 2011 Victoria was selected to be one of the mini-skirted "Virgin Guard" in Sacha Baron Cohen’s movie The Dictator, appearing briefly in the movie and more prominently at subsequent PR events in 2012.  Reporters were already checking her past for other reasons and she became worried that she would be out'ed being a transwomen, and this indeed occurred in a NY Times article in May 2012.  Her shocked husband sought comfort with a female work colleague, Katarzyna Sakowicz, and they began an affair.  Victoria discovered this and started to make threatening phone calls to Katarzyna, who eventually contacted the police - resulting in Victoria being arrested in May 2013 on harassment charges.  Victoria then said “I’m more a woman than she’ll [Katarzyna] ever be!”, and claimed that her husband actually "knew the whole time” about her past.  Her husband has since filed for divorce.

There are many potentional unexpected downsides from living in stealth.  One example is Brianna, born Brian she had successfully transitioned to female and gone stealth age 20.   25 years later she was in her second mariage when she discovered that an uncle had passed away, leaving Brian a substantial sum of money.  She lacked the documentation to prove to the satisfaction of the Executor that she was Brian, whilst trying to obtain this would probably have out'ed her and wrecked her marriage.

Transwomen Outing Themselves

Some stealthy transsexuals eventually decide too 'out' themselves.  This seems to be particularly common among transwomen who successfully transition when young and have a successful life and career as a woman, but in middle age decide to come out as being a transgender woman.  A few examples include Lynn Conway, Aleshia Brevard and Anna Taylor.  But there are also younger examples such as model Teddy Quinlivan, entertainer Corey Rae and social media 'influencer' Michelle Alexandra.

Michelle (shown right) was born a boy- Mitch - and says:

Nadia Almada (right)effectively outed herself by entering Big Brother UK 2004. Lisa du Preez, age 32

Michelle started taking estrogen hormones age 14, had her first breast augmentation age 17, and gender reassignment surgery age 18,when she went stealth.  As a curvaceous and well-endowed young woman, she built up a substantial following on social media and made a reasonable living from this, including many trips to exotic locations with her admirers.  But there were increasing rumours that she was transgender.  In January 2023, age 27, she outed herself as a transwoman.  

It is not certain if Michelle sold her story - although it first prominently featured in the Daily Mail newspaper. There are however many instances where stealthy transwomen appear to have decided for financial reasons to sell their story to the media, examples in the UK include Nadia Almada, Angel Paris Jordan, and Lisa Du Preez. 

Nadia (born Jorge 'Carlos' Leodoro in 1977) transitioned when she moved to the UK from Madeira in 1999 and had her SRS a few years later.  She won a £65,000 prize by intriguing housemates and television viewers when, age 27, she participated in the UK version of television reality show Big Brother in 2004.  She went into the house stealth, but housemates began to wonder if she was TS after just a few days.  The program's producers already knew that she was a transsexual, and soon the rest of the world did as well.

Jackie McAuliffe, age 28

A second example is Lisa du Preez (née Ward).  Her story from boy to woman appeared in various newspapers and magazines with tabloid suitable quotes such as a News of the World headline in July 2009 - "Lingerie model Lisa was once a man called Louis (and her boyfriend didn't know)".  Another story said "When I met my fiancé ... in a pub a year ago we hit it off right away but I didn’t tell him about the surgery."

Jackie McAuliffe is perhaps an extreme example of this.  Born Jason, she transitioned age 20 and had SRS when 25.  She was fortunate to then be totally passable as a woman, and in the late 1990's she worked for several years as a female prostitute - sleeping with hundreds of men.  But she was very publicly outed (albeit presumably with Jackie's consent) in the BBC real life docu-drama Paddington Green in 1998.  The BBC paid her very little and a new career as a musician quickly came to nothing; she readily admitted to financial difficulties in the follow-on program Jackie's Story.  Since then she has married and changed her name, the passage of time and a low profile life style has allowed her to slip back in to stealth.

 A slightly different example of the potential issues is Sarah Green. She transitioned age 17 and was initially successfully passing and developing as a young woman - "it was brilliant too.  I wasn't hiding anymore".  She wanted other young transsexuals to know that "they don't have to be ashamed of who they are" and so she agreed to appear on Blunt - a teens' TV programme.  But an unfortunate result of outing herself so publicly was that neighbours now knew that she was a transsexual, and people shouted abuse at her in the streets.

Céline Van Den Bossche

Whilst at primary school, Van Den Bossche knew that he was different from the other boys.  He began wearing make-up and dressing as a girl. When age 15, she transitioned, adopted the the forename Celine and began female hormone treatment.  Age 18, she underwent a sex change operation and was now legally a woman in Belgium.  Four years later she was working as a hairdresser and in all aspects of her life was living as a woman.  Perhaps unwisely she entered and won a local beauty contest. As a result, she qualified for the Miss Belgium contest and strong local support made her one of the favourites.  However, a reporter from Laatste Nieuw did some research and interviewed her just before the contest, in answer to a question she admitted "I'm transgender, so what?".  Now out'ed, she was a shock elimination in the preliminary round.

Teddy Quinlivan (shown age 21) was a top-100 female model when she outed herself as a transsexual. Her limited breast development drew no attention; indeed she was used as a body model for store mannequins!

Other major risks are involved with trying to go partially stealthy, e.g., going "stealth" at work but "out" with friends and family.  Inevitably this division will not work long term.  Confiding one's transsexuality to a partner or best friend with an oath of secrecy is extremely risky - human nature being what it is the word will almost inevitably slowly spread.  The temptation to reveal one's background in order to get a job, obtain a bank loan, to explain odd results in a medical, etc., is also often great, but again this breaks the stealth rules and increases the risk of eventually being publicly out'ed.

 

Actress Josie Totah with Harley Wittmer on their graduation day at Chapman University in June 2022.

Stealth in Public

An increasingly common occurence is successful transwomen who have been out'ed or don't hide that they are transgender, but whom the media gives up on headlining as being "trans" because it's become boring and no longer newsworthy.  After a few years this leads to the situation where if the woman is passable, people forget that she's transgender and just assume that she's a cis-woman.  In the UK, model Larissa Summers and actress Talisa Garcia are examples of this phenomonen.  In the USA, a good example is actress Josie Totah.  She was born male but transitioned age 17. She has since had a very successful career as an actress, e.g. she was cast as Mabel, an aspiring young American female socialite (albeit bi-sexual) in the period TV series Buccaneer.

A few other examples include American model Teddy Quinlivan, actress Hari Nef, German pop-princess Kim Petras, Pakistani dancer Rimal Ali and British business woman Reece Tomlinson.

 

Marriage and Children

A huge pressure faced by stealthy and physically passable transwoman in their 20's and 30's is to marry.  Indeed, a surprising large percentage of young transwomen strongly want that, e.g. Elinor believes that: “The ultimate criterion of being a woman is being a good wife, being able to make a man happy.”  The majority do indeed marry a man but they then face intense pressure to have children - with constant hints and reminders that the biological clock is ticking and that they need to have children before it's too late. 

A still from the film Carlotta, Carol with her future mother-in-law expressing her hope that she will soon be a Grandmother.

The Australian film Carlotta - based largely on the autobiographies of pioneering transwoman Carol Byron- includes a study of how her marriage was destroyed by her mother-in-law's expectation of grandchildren.  She had SRS in 1971 but her autobiographies may not fully document this period of her life and it's unclear how accurate the film is.  One speculation is that in 1975 she met and married in London a man with the surname Spencer whilst stealth, she certainly used the name Carol Spencer for several years thereafter.

In the 1970's and 1980's a stealth transwoman could claim that she was infertile due to an unstated medical condition, and this would be accepted.  However, advances in medical science mean that trying to make such a claim in the 2020's will instead lead to "helpful" suggestions of various tests and treatments.

When transwoman Carmen Carrera married her boyfriend, she became the stepmother of his two daughters from a previous marriage.

Given the current impossibility of bearing children, push-back reasons and excuses can include:

1. I don't want children.  Whilst this may cause arguments with a husband who wants to be a father, it's a clear cut reason that also justifies the taking of 'contraceptive pills'.

2. I want a baby but no luck so far.  A very credible excuse for transwoman over age 35, but if the husband is determined to have children then seeking fertility medical advice is likely to be suggested and will need to be avoided.

3. I've had a miscarriage.  A fake pregnancy and early miscarriage can be a credible and traumatic excuse, but if repeated will be problematic.

4. I'm infertile. Once the golden ticket, it's now the last resort as details will be sought and medical treatments suggested.

 

In 2015 the Argentinean model Nicole Ferri appeared in the short film Panza ('Belly Bump' in English).  This is a documentary of the true-life story of a young woman who faked being pregnant in order to get the attention of a bank security guard, but was then shot when the bank was robbed.  Nicole is shown using pillows to create a baby bump and whilst a subtitle makes clear that she's an actress, it's not stated that she is a pre-SRS transwoman.  This documentary is probably the source of re-occurring but incorrect claims that Nicole is a mother.

I've since been seeking a compromise degree of stealth in my normal daily life and with the passage of time I believe that I'm now near finding this.   I suspect that a key factor is that after over 20 years transitioned, so few of my family, friends and acquaintances have never met me except as Annie.  This includes my once boyfriend and now husband.

It was thus a shock when recently a woman I was working with asked if I was "trans".  I reluctantly said yes, and she explained that I had some similarities with her transitioned brother, now sister, that had made her start to wonder.